Down by the Hoochie Coochie

pole_dancing_for_Jesus.800w_600hPole dancing?  Yes.  But not just any pole dancing – pole dancing for Jesus.


No matter how main-stream it becomes thanks to the antics of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears and other gals who are on first-name basis with paparazzi, when I hear “pole dancing”, my mind immediately goes to smoke-filled bars, throbbing music, and women who need to be protected by physically imposing bouncers named Tiny.


Interestingly enough, some Houston-area Christian women are of a different mind when it comes to pole dancing.


They bring their church bulletins as an admission ticket and attend a “Pole Dancing for Christ” class every second Sunday where they swing, twirl and lunge along to upbeat Christian music like jazzed up spider monkeys.


Gives a whole new meaning to Amazing Love, doesn’t it?


And, it totally makes sense that the admission ticket is a church bulletin because everyone knows that a quality church program can help you with a lot of things … like eating at a Luby’s cafeteria, a free pass on a speeding ticket, and, um.. heaven.


The class is being billed as an opportunity to faith-filled women to work out their cores, thighs, and arms.


Pole dancing got its start in the “Hoochie-Koochie” tents of carnivals back in the day.  These were the after-hours, “adult-only” shows and, since they had a pole holding the roof up, the performers began to incorporate that pole into their acts.


There is no carnival surrounding the Pole Dancing for Christ studio in Houston.  Nor is the studio called the Hoochie-Koochie.  In fact, the instructor is adamant that she is not teaching anything scandalous and she has absolutely no part in helping upstanding Christian women learn to strip.


(Though the techniques are the same as stripping and she learned the style of dance while working as a stripper, she is quite clear she is not teaching the women to strip!)


(Come to think of it… perhaps pole dancing can be used as an outreach tool for progressive, seeker-sensitive churches?  After all, many churches hold services in bars and nightclub these days.)


I’ve watched the segment the news did on this offering and the instructor seems to be a decent woman, the pupils excited about working out while wearing enormous, clear acrylic high heels.


Those shoes are a hazard, as they’re enormously tall and don’t have any ankle support.  That’s a broken leg waiting to happen on a normal day just walking down the street.  Add acrobatic moves, twirls, and a holy fervor and you never know what the end result might be!


(I keep having visions of the Seinfeld episode where George get boudoir photos.  I have the same, awkward, gooey feeling inside of me when I think of these ladies squirreling around on poles while listening to Toby Mac or David Crowder.)


But, lest I get too judgmental, I know if Demi Moore can do it, anyone can do it.  And just because there’s a pole involved doesn’t mean there’s stripping, drug use, lap dancing, and Hoochie-Koochie taking place.


The equal-opportunity for both genders activist in me can’t help but think what’s really missing here is a chance for men to get a similar full body workout.


So, perhaps there’s another option waiting to be offered for men looking to beef up their bodies: Shirtless Jackhammering for Jesus!


What do you think?  Would you ever take a Pole Dancing for Christ or Shirtless Jackhammering for Jesus class?



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3 thoughts on “Down by the Hoochie Coochie

  • April 21, 2011 at 11:35 pm

    “squirreling around on poles” made me laugh out loud! What a great line!
    Why would any women in their right mind take something that rips families apart, tack on “for Jesus” at the end and call it blessed?!

    • April 21, 2011 at 11:37 pm

      My dancer friend tells me from her professional eye it does seem like a good work out… (My ballet dancer friend. Important to clarify in this context!)

      • September 26, 2011 at 3:52 pm

        Sex with your husband is also a good workout but it belongs exclusively to the two of you with NO audience:) (Sorry for the long delay between posts, just figured out the whole subscription thing.)


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