Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Two years ago I was introduced to the magical navigational device called a Garmin GPS.

My good friends and I met in a foreign city, she punched up coffee shops and a listing of a plethora of Starbucks appeared. I was sold.

Tonight, however, I discovered the Garmin has its limitations.

Namely, it does not distinguish whether the “Sam’s Club” listing sells oh, say, wholesale and bulk items of the garden variety or, maybe, say, exotic dancing lessons.

I can tell you with certainty that there are some Sam’s Clubs where driving up in a Suburban named Stella that is loaded with young girl children is not a comforting experience.

(Here’s a shout out of – what were you ever thinking?! – to the guy I dated in the 1990s who thought going to a night club named De Ja Vu was a good use of a Saturday night. And a hallelujah, thank you, God!, for my husband and the fact that he loves me even though I take our children to questionable areas of town.)

Good times, good times.

This is the second uncomfortable adventure I’ve had in three days.

Three days ago we were in a gas station somewhere between home and St. Louis and I walked, fully and completely into the men’s restroom.

I was on a mission to find the changing table, which was located in the back stall of the bathroom (hurray for the fact that public areas are now putting changing tables in men’s bathrooms now!).

The baby was loaded in my arms and I was on a mission for the changing table when I looked to my right and saw a man standing at the urinal. I might mention I was close enough to reach out and give him a little hug if I had wanted.

I made a sudden, abrupt about face and scrambled out of the bathroom so fast! I’m pretty sure I could have set an Olympic record for a “quick start” with that one.

My momentum took me straight out to the parking lot and into Stella where I hung out until the dude had left the gas station because there was no way I was going to let that poor guy set eyes on me again!

I told Lizard and he just shook his head and said,

“Oh, honey.”

Yeah, that’s what I think too.

Have you embarrassed yourself by turning up in the wrong place?

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