You Lurk, I Lurk, I Like You!

I recently read there is a day called “lurker day” in the blogosphere.

The idea is that on this particular day people who typically cruise by a blog and read the posts but don’t comment have to just write something so the “lurkers” are recognized.

I love it! I can tell from the site analytics that there are many people who stop by and read then go away without saying a word. Since I’m terribly controlling this is a hard one for me – I want to know who you are!

“Lurker day” also got me thinking about how blogging is like an awkward first date.

1. You dress up to make a good first impression. There are people who get up every day and their job is to tell others how to make their blogs more attractive. I’ve read their tips and I can tell you I follow many of them! One of the most helpful sites for me is

This is like a first date. I cannot tell you how many hundreds of dollars have been spent by women buying the perfect shoes to go with their first date outfit. The guys don’t even look at the shoes – they’re too busy taking a sponge bath in Drakkar Noir to bother to look down at a woman’s shoes. Such is the way of the first date.

Now, I’m not wearing a skimpy skirt or trying to fake bake for the readers, but I do pay attention to the photos that go along with the post. Have you ever viewed this on an iPad? Let me tell you,this site on an iPad is like a date you just want to put in your pocket and take home!

2. You practice what you’ll say ahead of time. I don’t know about you but before I was married to the Lizard of my life I prepared conversational topics ahead of time just like a job interview. I’m pretty sure this was a successful technique for my dating life.

There are some things in the blogging world I don’t talk about too much – like the specifics of my job or gory details of crazy disagreements. Think about it – you don’t say those types of things on a first date either!

Intentional omission is a solid courting strategy as well as blogging technique. After all, you always want to keep them on their toes, right?!

3. There are awkward silences. Let’s face it – on any first date there are long pauses in the conversation as you try to find an appropriate response. Sometimes the pauses are longer than others, like the pause after I shared my junior prom date had to bash his pet iguana’s head with a rock in between our picnic dinner and the dance and looked at our photos to see if there was Iggy blood in his trouser legs.

Blogging is like that when you put out a beautiful post you think will really resonate with people and anxiously wait for a comment (because, oh, yes, writers are terribly insecure and desperately needy for feedback) and hear crickets chirping in the silence in response to your masterpiece.

The good news is, even though they may not say anything, the lurkers are always welcome to have repeat dates with blogs. I, however, have started to comment at least one out of every three times I visit the blogs I read regularly.

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4 thoughts on “You Lurk, I Lurk, I Like You!

  • May 19, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    So I’ve often wondered about blogging etiquette and have no idea what is expected. You’ll have to write a post about how it all works- I’ve always wondered.

  • May 22, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    I comment occasionally to let you know I’m here. I know people read my blog who NEVER leave a comment. It’s weird.

    My lack of commenting has more to do with my lack of 2 hands lately than anything! Thanks for writing!

  • June 6, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    Hi! I came across your blog today, and will definately pop you into my faves! I know what you mean about the commenting!!! I don’t blog, but when I post on Facebook, I can’t stand it when no one comments! So many insecurities suddenly surface for me! Love your sense of humor by the way!

    • June 7, 2011 at 12:26 am

      Thanks! I love that you think my insanity is funny! Bill Cosby said once: “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” That’s become my motto. 🙂 And all I can say is at least we’re admitting our insecurities… if we weren’t we wouldn’t know where to start trying to approve!


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