The Posts the Brought You Here

It’s been awhile since I wrote about the search phrases that have brought people to and there are a number that have given me great joy.  Here they are, the top ten tags and the posts I believe they were directed toward:

1.  When Will I get Married?  Well, kiddo, if you’re asking google when you’re going to get married I’m going to guess it will be awhile.  But if you want a real answer of how to get married in six months or less, here’s my advice.

2.  Reading Pregnancy Tests.  No doubt, the pregnancy tests are always confusing and your emotional state while reading them is uncertain at best.  I didn’t actually blog about pregnancy tests alone, but I did mention that paranoia and bizarre food cravings brought me take a pregnancy test and created five questions for the OB/Gyn in this post.

3.  Bony Knees Photo.  I never took a picture of my bony knees, which are always covered in leg hair because the razor can’t traverse the canyons of my kneecaps, but I did mention my opinions about clothing trends in Dressing Room.

4.  Poop Now.  I have an image in my head of Sienfeld’s dad yelling, “Poop, Now!” instead of “Serenity Now” when I read this search term.  I think Uno and the Poopy Feast can cover all immediate pooping needs.

5. Naked Stealing.  God have mercy on your soul.

6.  Plus Size Women Pole Dancing.  I’m all in favor of being a plus and kind of in favor of pole dancing, but in general… it all sounds like a high risk activity.

7.  Mountain Woman.  This directs you to the post on Stella’s Groove, a tribute to our charming Suburban.  I still love the photo that goes with this post.

8.  Stealing Faith book.  I don’t have a book.  I’m working on two books, one on helping mom’s navigate the insanity of baby competition and another that gently and thoroughly talks about, well… sex.  Someday I hope to finish them.  It will likely be sometime after I’ve moved into our 600 square foot abode and rediscovered where my pantyhose are.  I did do a book review and giveaway of Kristin Maschka’s book, This is Not How I Thought It Would be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today.

9.  Deep Spiraling Vortex.  Once, when we were still living the idyllic life of a soccer coach and family, we took a team of women to Arkansas for a tournament.  It was great, until it just… wasn’t.  This is the story of the Arkansas Vortex.

10.  I Sneezed, Bless Mother.  I’m not sure exactly who to bless and, as a mother, I’m always happy to get a blessing, but shouldn’t they be blessing themselves just in case a spirit takes over their body as they sneeze their soul out?  And that’s just one of the traditional reasons for an after-sneeze blessing!

Hope you enjoyed this walk down memory lane… what posts have you enjoyed and want to remember?

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