The Posts that Brought You Here – July Edition

It’s been almost a month since I shared the search terms that brought people to StealingFaith.com.  Since I continually get a chuckle out of this, I’ve decided at least once a month I’m going to post the top search terms for this site and the links to the posts I suspect the search engine matched up.

(It’s like eHarmony, except in the virtual world where the htmls are hooking up with the java scripts and such.  Or something like that, I’m not a technical person.)

1. Soaked Pantyhose.  I’m taking suggestions on how this is related.  I know I’ve located the pantyhose in the move and promptly decided to garage sale them because, well, when you have 36 feet of gluttony hitched to your backside, removing the clutter is a GOOD THING.  And pantyhose don’t make my life any more fulfilling.

2. I am Being Wedded.  Here in the U.S. we usually refer to this state of affairs as “gettin’ hitched,” but there are some considerations before you pull the switch and go get yourself wedded… as opposed to be “welded,” which is a totally different situation altogether. Also, if by chance you’re blind and not sure if your forthcoming kiddos will be hotties, feel free to check out what science has to say about Hot Hands.

3. Stealing Balloons.  Every once in awhile the ruffians get a on a kick and their conversation with one another is hilarious.  Take the time Uno accidentally let Dos’ helium balloon float out of the car… well, you can read it for yourself.

4. Ultra Uterine Device.  Back in the day I followed the crowd when it came to birth control –  every day I popped a pill.  (As condemning as three kids in four years looks, we do practice birth control.  Just imagine how many ruffians there could be if we didn’t!  Oh!  Nightmare!)  One day a friend told me you don’t have to fill your body with chemicals that have a side effect of aborting a conceived child or have a piece of plastic inserted deep into the hooha area.  There are viable options… and I got on my soapbox to talk about them here.

5. Worms Smell Bad.  Oh yes, yes they do.  Not only do they undulate in a sketchy way and eat dirt, they are particularly smelly when you store them in a jar all summer long.  Tomato Worms… they’re in their own, stinky category of nasty.  Bletch.

6. Childlike Invincibility.  Recently Tres flipped herself out of a shopping cart simply because she thought it looked fun.  What would you do if you weren’t inhibited?

7. Crazy Frog.  Not really sure why a Crazy Frog has anything to do with StealingFaith.com.  But… perhaps it should… I love that YouTube video where the little girl stores frogs in her panties… but as far as my own writing, I can only suggest the note about the actress who starred in amphibious horror films who was such a recluse no one noticed she was dead for years.  I had a few tips on how to make sure you don’t become the unnoticed dead person yourself.

8. Oregon Trail Capsize.  Oh, friends.  My friends.  I heart the Oregon Trail so much I’ve had to go on an Oregon Trail fast because when my kiddos were taken by an eagle I got emotionally involved.  And that doesn’t even touch the middle school drama I’ve been reliving…

9. Women of Faith Why Do The Moms Work So Much Harder Than The Dada.  My quick answer?  “Because Life Isn’t Fair.”  It isn’t always how we expect it to turn out… the key is figuring out how to deal with that AND learning to appreciate the Dadas for the work they do!

10. Chop My Hair Off.  If you’re going to chop it, I suggest chopping completely with a gal who has blue and purple hair and then not shampooing for several weeks at a time.  It might work for me.  Of course, at a certain age hair is not just hair and there are some rules for sporting the gray hair with pizazz.

If you missed the Posts That Brought You Here – June Edition, go check it out… it even includes pole dancing for God.