As of this moment my campaign to get a visitor to StealingFaith.com from the state of Maine has been unsuccessful.
It’s not quite crunch time, but it’s definitely getting closer because I have only ONE MORE DAY of my three-day blog blitz to get a reader from Maine. Please send help immediately – especially help from Maine!!!
It’s not every day you get to acknowledge your love for toothpicks in a public fashion. Consider the toothpick – it’s an item of unremarkable but indispensable utility. And guess what? Maine has the largest toothpick manufacturing plant in the United States! It produces 20 million toothpicks each day!
Where would we be without Maine-produced splinters? Think of the party wieners that would be without stabbing! (And, I have to share, I did a quick search for the phrase “party wiener” because I feel there’s another name for that delicious cocktail delicacy. The top five results were in reference to Anthony Weiner. Wouldn’t that just puff your chest with pride if you were him? No?!)
If you’re a toothpick connoisseur, you’ll know that 20 million toothpicks a day equals 90% of the annual toothpick consumption of the US. Put that together with 90% of US blueberry production also coming from Maine and you’ve got a state that know about sticks and balls but, strangely, has not produced any billiards champions!
Perhaps the most interesting and frightening aspect of Maine that I’ve discovered so far is the existence of the Maine Coon Cat.
A Maine Coon Cat is about the size of a Winnebago and Mainers apparently keep them as pets. Why, I don’t understand, because I’m thinking a cat that size could eat a human as an entre, but maybe it’s a reasonable explanation for the twisted horror that comes from the mind of Stephen King, a resident of Bangor, Maine.
Why? Why does anyone like cats at all? And why, oh, why, would anyone have a ginormous cat wandering about their home?!
And the state of Maine has made it their official cat. Not every state has an official cat. Insect, bird, flower, tree… these are fairly commonplace.
But want to be different as a state whose largest city has only 69,000 residents? Have an official cat.
Coon cat disbelief aside, have I convinced anyone from Maine to visit StealingFaith.com yet? Please? Maybe the residents of the state are out on the sea, collecting lobsters instead of surfing the web.
But doesn’t wi-fi access exist in Maine? Please? Come visit me, Mainers!!!
Don’t forget you can also do your part to urge a Maine resident to visit Stealing Faith. Do you know anyone from Maine? Invite them to visit this website by sending them a link, twisting their arm, or generally intimidating them into internet action.