I won’t eat the embryo

Vindication is mine, sayeth the woman who maketh a blackberry pound cake using sugar instead of salt this morn.

{happy sigh}

After all of yesterday’s drama, drama, drama I’m happy to announce today has gotten better. At my most melodramatic moments I think the only thing that could have made yesterday worse is if I’d kicked a puppy or told one of the ruffians there is no Santa.

This morning I woke up with the scent of redemption in my nose.

I made sourdough waffles, using the sourdough starter my mom gave me, started from a Knott’s Berry Farm bit way back before I was born. (If you’re not familiar with sourdough and how it works, it might freak you out a little to know I’m eating something more than three decades old, but I assure you, it’s totally good. And it makes me feel very connected to my mom and the past and who wouldn’t encourage something like that?)

After breakfast I took a gander at the remaining blackberries.

They were few.

But I was determined.

It’s the “get back on the horse after falling off” principle. Yesterday the blackberry pound cake recipe kicked my bootie, today I was going to own it.


That pound cake is beautiful. And tasty. And, because I’m that willing to go the extra mile to dominate, I even made my own glazed frosting.

Take that, baking fiasco!

In case you’re wondering, I’ve now spent 237 words talking about blackberry pound cake.

It’s time to move on.

I’ve been overdosing on episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker thanks to the bounty of TiVo.

Have you seen it? It’s no Bachelor, but it is intriguing. This gal named Patty spends her time telling millionaires what they need to do in order to find the person of their dreams. At first she’s blunt and I like her but then she’s rude and I feel really sorry for the people being dressed down on national t.v.

That’s what draws you into reality t.v., isn’t it?, the love/hate dynamic and the ability to watch public humiliation from the comfort of your own home while eating ice cream and Cheetos.

Here’s what I’ve learned about dating and love from the Millionaire Matchmaker so far:

1. Any type of raw food is super sketchy on a first day. Sushi is becoming more acceptable (huzzah!) but I’d still steer clear until you know your date is into it. And don’t take your date to a restaurant that serves duck embryos. Because that’s got creepy written all over it.

2. You need to have at least two activities in common with your partner. What practical, great advice! If you have two things to do together, that is the foundation for creating other, shared memories. Lizard and I like to snowboard and … well… have kids. 🙂 And shoot guns. And go on road trips. That’s more than two, so I think we’re going to make it.

3. If you think with your pants, you end up a loser. I’m trying to be delicate with this statement. I hope you know what I’m saying, though – if you spend your time thinking only about rabid attraction you’ll end up not so happy in the long-term. Oh, and Patty may kick you out of the Millionaire Club and that would be a fate worse than death.

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it. Have a good night, y’all.

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