The Rules Involve Coffee

There are a few sacred things in this life and coffee is one of them.

Not just the coffee, actually. The process to get the coffee is what I’m talking about.

When a person wakes up in the morning, there should be an inherent rule to being a human being alive on this planet we call Earth:

Allow a person to roll out of bed, make coffee, go to the bathroom, get the cup of coffee, and have a sip in methodical silence.

After observing this routine and a minimum of three gulps of that liquid, caffeinated loveliness, others – especially those aged five and under – may do the following:

  • Ask for breakfast.
  • Demand refereeing.
  • Ask what’s for breakfast.
  • Tell about their dream.
  • Tell about how badly they need to go potty.
  • Ask for breakfast.
  • Fight for attention.
  • Ask for the diaper to be changed.
  • Ask if they can rummage in the refrigerator to get their own breakfast.
  • Ask if the dogs can play on their bed.
  • Physically remove their sister from the toilet.
  • Scream at the top of their lungs in outrage.
  • Ask for breakfast.
  • Sing a little nonsense tune.
  • Ask to turn the tv on.
  • Demand breakfast.

Sacred is an important word.

Coffee is sacred. Sacred means don’t mess with it or you may die.

The End.

Hope you have a beautiful fall day filled with all the silence and caffeine you could wish to have! Don’t forget to vote for the worst storyline option in the sidebar. And make up your own to share! True awfulness should be celebrated!

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