How To Know It’s Time To Break Up

It’s no surprise around here I’m a big believer in breaking up with someone you’re dating when it becomes obvious they’re not “the one.”

This news story is too much proof I’m right to let it pass by!

Our dumb friend Kevin made a date with his online girlfriend. Ooo, yes, the glamor and excitement of online dating come to life! A real life date!

Except… his real life girlfriend showed up before his online date appeared at his house.

Tragedy! Angst! Hot flush due to getting caught!

Since real life girlfriend was now in the house, when online date showed up… he called the police and reported online date as a burglar.

Because that was going to cover his tail.

So, in honor of Kevin Gaylor of Colorado Springs, CO, I have created a list of Hints It’s Time To End Your Dating Relationship.


1. You’re browsing the personals section online.  What, are you just looking for the next best thing? Are you bored? Here’s a hint: if you’re looking for someone else, the one you’re with isn’t your soul mate. Cut the line and move on. And if you’re just bored, you’re playing with fire and your significant other should move on because they’re worth more than you.

2. You plan to meet in a private location. Mr. Kevin set up his online date at 3 a.m. Yes, that’s in the oh. my. goodness. hours of the morning, not a time when you’re likely to run into anyone you know. If you’re not proud to take your date in public, cut the line. You’re not in the right relationship.

3. Your relationship is filled with lies. Not going to be a huge shocker here, but if you’re not being truthful and honest with your significant other, you’re not in the relationship for the long haul. No, you do not need to have emotional diarrhea on the first date in the interests of “getting to know each other” or “being completely authentic with your true self” but if you’ve been steadily dating for several months, the major stuff should be out in the open.

4. You go to extraordinary measures to hide your actions. So, Kevin called the cops. He also got his tail hauled to jail and a misdemeanor for providing false information to the police. I wonder if that was worth it to him? If you have secrets that cause you to involve friends, family or authorities to keep hidden or if you’re constantly emptying your computer’s “history” tab… you need to take stock and make better choices.

5. You just don’t like them. I know this is self-explanatory, but if you don’t like the person you’re with, stop spending time with them. Duh. If you don’t like them, you don’t like them. Stop making them miserable trying to please you and let them go free to find someone who actually does like them. Any other action and you’re just being selfish because you don’t want conflict. Deal with it with integrity.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

I don’t mention the warning signs of when to break up in my book Badonkadonk: and other things that make you blush. I just talk about the nitty-gritty of the marriage relationship. And it’s pretty good, I’m not gonna lie. I’d be honored if you head over here to take a look at it, comment and rate it.

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One thought on “How To Know It’s Time To Break Up

  • October 28, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    Glad to see Stealing Faith alive again!! (You had me worried that I might never again laugh so hard I wet myself. Thankfully though, I can now resume my incontinent cachinnation.)

    On the subject at hand, another thought:
    If he/she is willing to cheat on (or leave!) their current partner for you, what’s to prevent them from leaving YOU when “greener grass” walks by in the future. Anyone willing to be unfaithful once, will likely be unfaithful again when they have enough motivation.


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