Position Available: Adult Needed

To Whom It May Concern:

 

I am writing this letter to resign my position as an adult. I do this with sadness, as I aspired to be an adult for at least 18 years before actually acquiring an entry-level position in this industry.

 

My time spent in the early ranks of adulthood were challenging, but fun…. creative, but stable. I performed my responsibilities with honor and appreciated expanding roles and greater influence on my world.

 

Recently, however, I have discovered the joy of adulthood has waned. I could expound upon the details of my dissatisfaction, but I don’t wish to detract from the good times I have had as an adult.

 

I appreciate the trust placed in me as an adult, but it’s simply a fact, all good things must come to an end.

 

Effective immediately, I plan to spend my life reading excellent books and sitting in hot tubs, allowing someone else to worry if the refrigerator is going to conspire against my checking account with a break down or wonder if my children will grow into highly functioning, ethical adults.

 

Sincerely,

 

Me

 

P.S. Please forward all packages from Amazon.com and Hershey’s to Juggler, c/o BreakDownIn Progress, Somewhere by the Sea, United States.