I am not going to write about Tim Tebow. Despite the fact he seems to be the only thing my friends on Facebook can mention in status updates.
Not that I have anything against him. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and like his truck. I also like the Broncos. But I’m not up to a post about football.
So, we had a rough weekend over at our house. It was the type of weekend where you get crosswise with each other, never really resolve the conflict effectively, and then fight the same fight at least four times before you’ve gotten all the poison out of your system and realize you can have a conversation without it morphing into a hissy fit.
I’m sure you couldn’t possibly know what I mean because everyone’s life is always full of cheery thoughts and toots made of rainbows.
But, in case you relate to the type of weekend I’m talking about, I want to tell you what I’ve learned.
1. There aren’t any caveats on loving in marriage. I got smacked in the face with this one. The last few months have been a roller coaster for me personally and I discovered have developed an internal pity complex. I feel I deserve special consideration. The truth is… I don’t. My marriage vows are a promise of how I will love my husband through the good times and the bad times. We need each other’s unconditional love even more during the rough times – so just because my life feels tricky that doesn’t mean I stop loving authentically.
2. Change can be really, really hard. It doesn’t matter if the change is needed or healthy, major life changes can hurt. I always thought I was the type of person who could face any challenge with confidence, shake it off, and find humor and the silver lining. I don’t think that’s true anymore. Yes, I can still find humor. Yes, I can find a silver lining. But ignoring the chaos and pretending it doesn’t freak me out like a cat chasing a strobe light is unrealistic. Calling a spade a spade helps me identify the situation and problem solve to fix it.
3. I like the person I am today more than I liked the person I was yesterday. Or six months ago. Our life upended last summer. That’s not a bad thing and I don’t feel regretful about it. But it has started a domino effect of insanity and we’ve had to learn brand new techniques as individuals, as a couple, and as a family to address our new season of life. And as much as I hate change and have struggled, kicking and screaming… I’m finally getting a glimpse of the character traits this change has developed in me. And I like this new person. I like her a lot. If I hadn’t had this season… I would be missing a piece of the puzzle that makes me, me. That would be a bummer.
I’ve been purposefully vague in this post. I hope my newfound knowledge makes sense even without the gory details our life.
My ultimate point tonight is: from recent personal experience I can tell you, if you’re going through a rough spot or a place where you feel like you’re free-falling without a parachute… don’t give up hope no matter how bad it seems. You’re being grown for a purpose and you’ll land on your feet if you stick to the principles you know are true and right.
Who knows, you may even learn to fly.