10 Spot Ramble

Animal, the Muppet a.k.a my poodle/puddle, Penny.

It’s been far too long since I posted a 10 Spot Ramble, you know, the post when I scour the internet for the most bizarre facts of the moment.


Well, wait no longer. I’ll even start with a personalized piece of randomness, one you can’t find on Google at all:


1. My puddle, Penny, looks like that Muppet, Animal. Except she’s brownish-red, not hot pink. The sad truth is it’s so cold I’m scared to give the poor poodle a bath and hair cut. She’s growing dreadlocks (so is the other poodle). But if I shave the little nugget of nastiness I’ll likely get a puddle pop and that just doesn’t seem right, either. So, we continue to live with a Muppet.


2. The three best known Western names in China are Jesus Christ, Elvis Presley, and (president) Richard Nixon. There seems to be something askew there. Elvis? Nixon? Jesus?! One of these things is not like the others…


3. The Great Depression changed the family in several ways. Many couples delayed marriage, and divorce rates and birth rates dropped. Some men also abandoned their families; a 1940 poll revealed that 1.5 million married women were abandoned by their husbands. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but does anyone see the similarities I see between this statistic and the numbers we’re experiencing now? The only significant difference I see now is the couples never get married in the first place.


4. A rare disease called porphyria (also called the “vampire” or “Dracula” disease) causes vampire-like symptoms, such as an extreme sensitivity to sunlight and sometimes hairiness. In extreme cases, teeth might be stained reddish-brown, and eventually the patient may go mad. Oh, watch out, Twilight fans. Not only are you completely rabid in your support of poorly written fiction, you just might contract Dracula disease. That would be a bad thing.


5. The most popular flower on Valentine’s Day is a single red rose surrounded with baby’s breath. The red rose was the flower of Venus, the Roman goddess of love. Well, now, isn’t this a timely fact! How many of you received a single red rose yesterday for Valentine’s Day? If you did, get your hubba-hubba on because that’s what Venus would recommend.


6. A mother shark can give birth to up to 48 pups in one litter. Oh. My. Heavens. I would like to say more but I’m caught up in the misery of spawning only one child at a time and can’t wrap my head around the number 48. That’s double the trouble of Jack Bauer.


7. The first attempt to assassinate a president was on Andrew Jackson by Richard Lawrence, a house painter. Both of his guns misfired, however—an event that statisticians say could occur only once in 125,000 times. Andrew Jackson then chased Lawrence with his walking stick. Can you even imagine? Two guns, both misfire… then you’ve got a super-pissed man with a big stick coming after you tout suite! It would stink to be Richard Lawrence!


8. Jimmy Carter is the only president to have been commander of both a nuclear submarine and a peanut farm. I’m really into American Presidents tonight. I just can’t control myself when I read the words “peanut farm.” My cousins farm peanuts. They’re pretty awesome (both the cousins and the peanuts they farm). And Jimmy Carter, despite possessing a weak chin, was a decent President. Don’t know about his success with the nuclear submarine, though.


9. A cat lover is called an Ailurophilia (Greek: cat+lover). I am not an ailurophilia. In Fact, I kind of believe the only good cat is a dead cat. Or a cat that stays outside non-stop and catches mice. However, two years ago I saw a cat get hit by a car and it did make me sad, so I guess there’s a small amount of love in my heart for the feline as a mammal. My friends recently contemplated getting a hairless cat. Why? Why?! 


10. Thirty-three percent of online daters form a relationship, 33% do not, and 33% give up. My own, completely fabricated statistic is 23% of online daters are set up on dates with their siblings or parents. And then they realize it, have a gut-wrenching Ewww! moment, and quickly delete their profiles.


Hope you enjoyed your 10 Spot Ramble for the night! I’ll be posting all of the jokes you have submitted this week but there’s still time! Put your favorite jokes in the comments and I’ll share the love with everyone later – it’ll be great!

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3 thoughts on “10 Spot Ramble

  • February 16, 2012 at 8:00 am

    A mouse and an elephant are in the shower. The mouse says to the elephant, could you pass me the bar of soap? The elephant says to the mouse, “What do you think I am, a radio?”

  • February 17, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    I’m not sure if this was real or a joke, but I thought it would get a laugh. I saw a note from a woman asking if she can get cancer from her husband’s “big, nasty farts.” She said that she makes him go outside to fart because they smell so bad. Some people amaze me with what they come up with.


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