New Skill Set: Scaring the Husband
I’d like to tell you about my special gift: scaring my husband to death.
I’ve discovered two brand-spankin’ new ways to do this.
One, randomly trip and fall. I learned this trick last night. I was carrying Tres at the play ground, on my way to collect Dos at the swing set and hit an uneven piece of sidewalk. It may have appeared specifically because uneven sidewalks are the handiwork of Satan, I’m not sure.
I am absolutely certain I fell face first onto the sidewalk, twisting my body midair and curling into a ball to protect both Tres’ head and the unborn infant in my midsection. It worked, no harm, no foul!
When Lizard realized I’d fallen, however, he was a sight to behold. He lofted himself over the fence and made it to my side in a pretty impressive manner. He even offered to kiss my boo-boos, but I chose to cover my wounds with Sesame Street bandages, instead.
Task complete: my husband’s heart stopped beating.
The second trick I’ve learned is also pregnancy-related. I have developed some version of Restless Leg Syndrome, except it’s centered in my arms and mostly takes place in the evenings.
I start to feel pins and needles at my biceps and suddenly I find myself waving my arms like that poor alligator in the Dr. Seuss book, Flap Your Wings. It’s fairly involuntary, a way for me to try to get the numbness to go away.
This isn’t troublesome to my husband when we’re hanging out together on the sofa in the evening. He gets a little crotchety later in the night, however.
I try to tell him that when I randomly fling my arms into the air at 3 a.m., I’m not trying to scare him to death. And the few times I’ve actually punched him in the face are a complete accident.
He understands, but seems to think his sleep pattern is being disrupted and waking up to a violent movement from his sleeping partner is unnerving.
(I should let loose a Rebel yell when I wake myself up with the Turrets-like muscles spasms. That’d really scare him! Seems kind of mean, though…)
Have you had any strange pregnancy-related occurrences? I’d love to hear about them!