If you recall, we’ve got a competition going on around here. If StealingFaith can bump up to averaging 772 hits each day and 772 facebook “likes” I’m willing to break open the vault and tell you my current most embarrassing moment.
It’s a whopper. I’m praying it is my most embarrassing moment, EVER, because if I have a moment when I become more embarrassed than that… well I could simply spontaneously combust from the heat in my face. The backs of my knees also sweat when I get embarrassed, but that’s beside the point.
I thought you might like to see some of the other embarrassing moments I’ve written about so far as an encouragement to share this site with your friends, neighbors, family pets, and the hobo you meet while you’re out and about.
1. End of the World Supply. When we moved we had a wonderful group of people help us. It meant our super secret End of the World food supply was discovered. I’m pretty sure there are people who think we moved to the Branch Dividian Complex.
2. Getting Real. Post partum depression isn’t funny at all. But it is embarrassing to many. Ever wanted a glance inside? This is the post for you.
3. I’m Not Selling Viagra. I sent an email soliciting sexual enhancement purchases to a professional contact (or twelve) when my email was hacked. There’s nothing that says, “Do business with me!” like knowing a person is a Viagra user.
4. Insane Courage and Minivans. Sometimes embarrassment is the energy that propels you forward into a new life. So put on your big-girl panties and just go for it. It’s worth it! (But don’t feel obligated to drive a minivan. That’s embarrassing, too.)
5. Uno and the Poopy Feast. This is a tale of embarrassment, nausea and heroism, all tied into one story I hope is never replicated.
6. Dos and the Thunder Poop. There’s nothing like embarrassing your child! Uno ate her own poop, Dos just made… an impact with hers. It was Thunderous… and memorable.
7. Forever Lazy. Anyone who purchases a Forever Lazy needs to give up completely. Or else wear matching long john pj’s for their family Christmas photo. Regardless of which way you go, you need to wear the red “S” of shame if the Forever Lazy is involved.
8. Wanna Be Lucky In Love? It’s scientifically proven! Easily embarrassed people are better in relationships! Tests repeatedly showed that “moderate embarrassment” signals a tendency to be “pro-social.” So go rock that blush!
9. Male Parts. There’s this guy. He wants to buy this bus. And I accidentally talked to him about “male parts.” So proud. So very proud.
10. Say That One… More… Time… Sometimes the embarrassment comes from the people around me. Like this youngster who freaked out about the woman breastfeeding at the movie theatre. I’m sorry he was embarrassed – but still kind of mad at him.
11. Terror of the Tweet. In this post my children discuss the naughty bits of overly large bovines and how to correctly classify said bovines. Their conversation is fascinating, hilarious, and makes me hang my head in shame. Such is life.
12. A Penny Saved… If you want to make a scene, show up at a casino with a pillowcase full of coins. Then appeal to ChaCha to know who would actually just give fistfuls of money away in return for a pillowcase full of pennies.
13. Life Savers. Sometimes we steal laughter from others to make life more entertaining. I introduced my favorite bloggers in this post. (I have a new one since then: There’s More Where That Came From. She has toddler twins and just birthed a new one. She’s ridiculously funny (as they all are).) Life Savers are amazing!
14. Making Friends & Influencing People. One day I hawked a lougie on my leg. It was awesome. The next day my child lovingly stroked a strange man’s arm hair. We are a family of winners.
What are some of your favorite embarrassing moments?