There’s a Rabbit In…

This is a grown up Silver Marten.
This is a grown up Silver Marten.

It was only with the utmost amount of self-control I was able to NOT write, “I have a rabbit in my bra” as a status update on Facebook today.


I thought of my mother’s face and her look of sadness if she saw such a status update, talking about a lady’s foundation garment, and I was able to control myself.


So instead I wrote it here, on the blog, where it’s likely going to get more notice than it ever would have on Facebook.


{Love you, mom! You raised me right, I just can’t stick to the straight and narrow!}


Now, with all this lead in, you might reasonably have a few questions:

One, Where did I get a baby bunny?

Two, why would I ever put a baby bunny in my brassiere?

Three, how do I feel after allowing a lagomorph access to my bosom?

Fair questions, one and all. Let me explain.


We have baby bunnies! After weeks of bunny breeding and only one baby bunny to show for our efforts, two days ago we ended up with a litter of hairless, blind, deaf, wiggling creatures!


I don’t know if you have experience raising rabbits but just in case it’s a blank page of information for you, baby bunnies are completely helpless and ugly when they’re born. According to Wikipedia, the word for that is altricial, meaning they are born blind, naked, and helpless.


They’re prone to death upon arrival, death from exposure, death from mama trample, death from… well, lots of stuff! Rabbits are low on the food chain, which means they have a lot of babies quickly in preparation for a high mortality rate.


I love the rabbits. I don’t want our rabbits to die!


I’m becoming obsessed with rabbits, so having this litter has me walking on the clouds. The babies are silver martens, which means they have gray skin where their black hair will grow in and pink tummies where their white fur will be.


Even though they’re exceptionally ugly I love them with my whole heart.


The only problem with their arrival is that it is Oh! My! Goodness! cold here. Well, not cold enough for glaciers to glide by in the evenings, or even to throw a cup of hot water through the air and watch it freeze, but it’s still pretty darn cold around this mountaintop town!


Baby bunnies and cold are not a good combination. I’ve lived in a state of concern the babies will freeze to death.


So, to stay on point and answer those three important questions?


One, I have a baby bunny because we finally got the breeding part right and our doe had babies.


Two, I put the baby bunny in my bra because expert after expert agree the easiest way to warm a baby bunny in danger of hypothermia is to snuggle them right up next to your heart using a little lingerie lift.


{Victoria has a new Secret. It involves a cotton tail.}


Finally, regarding how I feel about the little mammal with 18 toenails squirming through said article of clothing? Well, honestly, slightly violated. But it was absolutely worth it because the cold muffin warmed up and came back to life!


Did I mention we have baby bunnies???! We are expecting two more litters, so we will have LOTS of baby bunnies very soon. Did I mention they’re the coolest ever???!


Have you ever had a pet give birth around you?


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