I’ll give it to you straight

ratcook14Here is the trajectory of my sickness:


Day 1: Oh, is that a scratch I feel in my throat? (two hours later) Oh, my, I seem to have chills and feel like passing out when upright. I shall go to bed.


Days 2 – 4: No recollection besides chills, hunger, and the intense joy a drink of lime Gatorade offers.


Days 5 – 6: I believe I shall sit up and watch Downton Abbey. Oh, my. My eye balls may explode. Perhaps I shall drink Gatorade and go to bed.


Day 7: Family? I have a family? I had forgotten! They are so joyful. Oh! Is that Mulan on the T.V.? (begins to cry) That is such a deep, poignant movie! Children… come back! I need to hug you!


Day 8: I can conquer the world! I feel good! No wait! I feel awful! My life is dreadful and I will never have joy again! No, I feel good! Wait! I think I should sit down.


Day 9: Yes, I can do the laundry today. Yes, I can do dishes today. Yes, I can be a mom today.


Day 10: Hm… there’s a strange rumbly in my tumbly. Oh, my. The bathroom, I feel such a close kinship to you. And this bowl – I’m so glad to know it can hold up to eight cups of vomit at once! What a relief!


Day 11 – 12: I don’t remember. I believe they have been filled with sleep and non-stop watching of the Food Network but all I remember is a vague desire to eat cupcakes and pan sear rats in Cambodia.


Thank you for tuning in. No promises on the next update, but I hope it’s getting better. Prayers gladly accepted.



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2 thoughts on “I’ll give it to you straight

  • March 2, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    Hope you get better soon.. miss your posts…

  • March 9, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    Hope you are feeling better. My Monday lunch reading is sorely lacking without your writing!


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