I HATE SURPRISES so let’s make bagels

A Fat Hamster
A Fat Hamster

I just got startled by a small rodent wrapped in flannel hanging out underneath my hope chest.


There are two reasons I am not on top of my kitchen cabinets right now: 1) I realized it was the battery operated hamster toy the girls must have left out this evening after swaddling it in a receiving blanket, and 2) I dislike spiderwebs more than rodents.


(Let me digress and mention the spider webs are permanent fixtures on the ceiling that I like to imagine are my insurance policy against miscellaneous insects crawling in my mouth while snoring. I cohabitate with spiders. We have a deal – they keep insects out of my mouth and I’ll leave their sticky webs alone.)


Being startled by the battery operated hamster just added to my sense of disgruntlement with the evening. Someone is keeping secrets from me.


I hate surprises. Really. Don’t like them at all. Secrets? They frustrate me to no end. This is proof I’m actually not a fun person in any way, shape or form and emotionally stunted. (Meh. Thems the knocks.)


I ruined the romance of my engagement because I hate surprises. My dear, sweet husband-to-be was a few weeks away from proposal the day he got the ring. He had visions of beautiful romance and extensive planning for the event.


My sensors went off that he was keeping a secret and I almost broke up with him because I didn’t want to be with someone who would keep things from me. When it was all said and done he let the cat out of the bag and we got engaged over a bowl of Ramen noodles.


Romance factor: zero. Story telling and truth points: immeasurable.


Since I don’t know what the secret is that’s being kept from me at the moment, just that it exists, I am left to my own devices to plan to torment the secret keeper later. I believe I will sign them up for texted Cat Facts.


But I must also distract myself. So I’d like to think about bagels.


This morning I visited my local grocer and paid $4.59 for a bag of six blueberry bagels. Upon reflection, I find this to be ridiculously expensive.


If I can make my own yogurt in a crockpot and end up with a gallon of organic yogurt for a few bucks, I’m certain I can figure out a way to make some super yummy, better than store bought bagels at home.


Can you help me? Do you have any recommendations for bagel-making? Best practices for bringing those circular bits of doughy goodness to life?


DON’T KEEP IT FROM ME… tell me your secrets… NOW!



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4 thoughts on “I HATE SURPRISES so let’s make bagels

  • March 27, 2013 at 12:13 am

    I can’t fix you a bagel, but I can catch the rodents for ya, if you want… Pawkiss, Little Binky 🙂

  • March 27, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    I asked my friend and he said he DOES make his own bagels and will give me the recipe! I’ll be sure to share it with you when I get it. 🙂

  • April 4, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    Check and see if you have a bread outlet. I get all our bread at a bimbo outlet (yes, you can laugh now). Bagels are $1.50 and bread can be $1. It’s just the bread they clear out before it expires and they restock the shelves

  • April 9, 2013 at 9:24 am

    Oh! Good idea, Megan! I think we do have one in town, Juggler. It’s called something like a bakery “thrift” shop. I think it’s over near 2nd St or Ave. (Or where they intersect.)


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