Blown Away

June 24, 2019June 24, 2019 Juggler 0 Comments

So. Let’s talk about things that make my mind blow into pieces.

Today I learned that this writing is considered to be inspired by a spirit of the Anti-Christ. So there’s that.

Not to be flippant, but I had no idea. Really.

I made the mistake of following a place where one of my posts had been shared, and then I read the comments. That was where I learned that I’m being characterized as a “known Classical Conversations antagonist.”

(Um… I don’t know what to say. But I could show people the tax returns I have of the past eight years of CC leadership and one could see with cold, hard numbers that my family has a track record of being anything BUT antagonistic toward this company. Quite the opposite, in fact.)

That being said, this post is about mind blowing items, not necessarily giving more air time to someone whose cheese done slid off her cracker, so let me instead move my conversation forward to another mind-blowing biological fact!

Male goats can have udders.

When I first heard this, all I could remember is the movie Meet the Parents where Robert De Niro’s character says, “I have nipples Greg? Can you milk me?”

And then I chuckled at the absolute absurdity of that movie and that particular, cringe-worthy scene.

But back to the buck udders. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the workings of goat anatomy, female goats develop udders, which is what the milk comes from.

Our son calls them “the milkers.” He wants to know why my daughter has been staring at photos of milkers while trying to make stock purchasing decisions.

Milking a goat takes a certain technique – it’s not a yank fest – but once you have the hang of it and an understanding with the goat, the milking is actually a very pleasing experience. The sound of the milk rhythmically hitting the bucket is quite soothing.

Plus, it’s a goat, and goat are hilarious, contrary and awesome. They can sing. Or scream. Everyone should have them.

Now… I have less experience with the male goat. In fact, we have a buck for the first time right now (although I grew up with goats they were always females. Except for one wether we kept and named Rambo. He was a big Nubian and I could, and did, ride him between my house and my friends house during my childhood).

Anywho, male goats, just like male dogs, cats, rabbits, and humans, have nipples. Typically they are just little bumps and they stay undeveloped and unnoticeable for the goat’s lifetime.

Enter… the crazy world of animal husbandry.

Apparently, if you have a strong milking line (which could mean a lot of things but it’s not uncommon to have goats that can give you more than a gallon of milk a day) then the mammary glands are so well developed that occasionally nature makes no differentiation between male and female.

And thus, and I have photographic evidence, you can have a fully functional buck with a completely working testicular function… AND… a completely working milk udder.