So, rumor has it that this funky little device named the iPad 2 was released today.
That news meant a lot to Lizard, because as you know, technology to him is as enticing as a piece of chewing gum is to a certain 5-year-old who I will call Uno.
However, we did not go stand in line at the Apple store today to make a purchase. Nor did we join a call-a-thon to raise money to support Japan in the midst of the worst day ever, a tsunami and earthquake right on top of each other (though that could happen in the future).
No, instead of joining in with the concerns of the rest of the world, we had much more fun.
We prepared for a 17-hour road trip with three children under the age of 6. Who says that spring break can’t be a fun-filled family adventure?! The only thing I can think of that would make this more fun is a pop-up trailer that makes us go 55 mph and lengthens our trip to 24 hours.
(We did consider taking a train this time but it was going to be 64 hours if we went the cheap route and sounded just plain painful. Our great American tour will have to be when we’re out of diapers and capable of reading independently. Amen.)
Today started early when Dos woke up and hustled into the bedroom to put her face about 1.3 millimeters from my face and whisper loudly, “I need to go potty!”
“Then go,” I answered, wondering why she needed permission and about to wet myself from the surprise of being woken up by a close talker.
“OK!!!” she whispered in the loudest whisper known to man (or woman, as the case may be).
She left the room and headed for the bathroom that is literally on the other side of her bedroom wall but across the house from our bedroom.
Then she slammed the hall door and woke up Uno and Tres. Many cries. Much complaining.
Good morning, world. Glad to see you before the sun’s awake today!
The hours since then have been filled with many things, but after a start like that the only thing that will top it today is when I walked into their bedroom and found Dos dangling upside down by one angle from the top bunk while Uno gripped just one skinny ankle with her even skinnier arms.
This confirmed my suspicion that they’ve been sneaking into the movie collection and watching Mission Impossible at night while Lizard and I are passed out from chasing them around all day.
The did not have the finesse of Tom Cruise. Just keeping’ it real.
We finally made it out the door after several more near misses with bodily injury due to lack of parental supervision as the parental units were frantically trying to count how many pairs of underwear are needed for a week and clothing changes for two different temperate zones.
As for Tres, well, I made a critical error in giving her an Oreo cookie while we were packing the Suburban, which resulted in a clothing change and spray down in the kitchen sink with the dish sprayer. We did not use Dawn soap.
Only three hours later than expected, we pointed the Suburban, which really needs a nickname since it’s become another family member, onto the western road and we’re headed toward tsumani-warned California.
Not the we’re going to California. We’re just headed west.
And that’s all I have to say about that. Ya’ll pray for us, ya hear?!
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