The Posts That Brought You Here Over the Last 8 Months

I don't know the who or why to this photo but it's going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.
I don’t know the who or why to this photo but it’s going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

My dear friends. In my blogging break the past eight months I had completely forgotten the joy I receive when I take a look at the search terms that people put into The Google that bring them to StealingFaith.

 

It’s hard for me to believe that people will pull up their search engines and type these phrases. And then, they arrived at this website as a response to these search terms.

 

Oh, the sweet, humorous joy of it all is hard to contain! I had forgotten the great variety of topics I’ve blogged about in the past that would make these quirky phrases relevant!

 

Today I will continue in the tradition of The Posts That Brought You Here and share the 10 most intriguing search terms of the last quarter… and my best guess for the posts these terms discovered.

 

1. Samwise gamgee. So maybe this isn’t the funniest search term to start with, but it may be the most inspiring. I don’t know anyone who can’t love on the grand ideas presented in the Lord of the Rings, and the true friendship offered by Samwise Gamgee. The quote in this post helps us remember It’s Worth Fighting For.

 

2. Suppository stories. I’m not sure how I feel about this search term, but it came up in more than five variations on the search list. I’m guessing it has something to do with Dos and the Thunder Poop. This story just never gets old. I can’t wait to tell it to Dos’ future spouse. It will be memorable.

 

3. stealingfaith family planning. Though some might clai with four kids it’s unlikely that we did any family planning at all but that’s just not the case! We strategically opened the door to kiddos using Natural Family Planning and I share our reasons why in this post, Going Natural.

 

4. trapper keeper kittens. I’m certain this search term had something to do with my memory of a Trapper Keeper with kittens on the front I got for Christmas one year, because who doesn’t fondly remember presents from the Revco?! My memories, on display, in The Christmas of the Guinea Pig. But, just as a bonus to all who care, I’ll share this lovely video of kittens: CLICK HERE FOR KITTENS. Lucky you.

 

5. is classical conversations a cult. The quick answer? No. But the reality, I love Classical Conversation quite a bit. This organization makes homeschooling possible for our family and we’ve bought in hook line and sinker! Just in case you’d like to drink the CC Kool-Aid, too, here’s a link to their website, Classical Conversations. You can thank me later.

 

6. help stepped in dog vomit barefoot. My initial reaction is that there are more problems than dog vomit when you turn to Google before the Bounty quicker-picker-upper, but that might just be me being judgmental and all. Despite my faith in your emergency decision-making skills, I can comfort you by sharing I’ve been there, done that. Then I blogged about it. It’s not fresh like Teen Spirit.

 

7. thongs at the minnesota state fair. Oh dear heavens. I pray this is talking about the thong on your foot rather than the thong in your… ahem. I’m scared, though, knowing the crazy things that can happen at a state fair. In order to venture into safer anatomical territory, I’ll just redirect you to the three part series of the best fairs, festivals, and funny events in the United States.

 

8. how to tell roommate not to borrow my underwear. Dude. This is messed up and I’m just sorry you’ve had this experience. I’m guessing this term turned up a post where I interviewed Kikolani with Three Simple Questions, but can I just say… I’m sorry? Underwear is an intensely personal item and it’s a bummer you had to share. I suppose you might find some thongs at the state fair if you’re really in the market, however.

 

9. can tape get the hair from underarms. Well yes, duh! It can also make you scream like a little girl who just saw Elsa Let It Go in person. I believe it’s about as much fun to use duct tape to remove armpit hair as it is to compare yourself to the standards put forth in Family Fun magazine, but you be the judge.

 

10. identify dogs by tongue. So… I searched this term myself and all I got was “Apologies, but no results were found.” I don’t know how to identify a dog by it’s tongue but I do know some random facts about the tongue like the fact that the blue whale has a tongue the size of an elephant and the hardest tongue twister in the English language is, “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.” Those won’t really help you in the real world but this post on 5 Worst Ways to Start a Conversation might get you a date. Or something like that.

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Copyright © StealingFaith.com 2010-2013 | All rights reserved

3 Things I’ve Learned From My Mom

hotblack / stock.xchng
hotblack / stock.xchng

As much as I would like to claim my… unique… view on life as my own, I’m a very boring person. I come by all of my most unusual qualities by the gift of genetics.

 

My mother is pretty much awesome. Not only because she’s an admirable woman with strong character, but also because she has some fun quirks that have been passed down to me and helped me become the slightly off-kilter woman I am today.

 

I shall give you three examples of things my Mom taught me I would not be the same had I not known.

 

1. Going back to an old relationship is like a dog eating its vomit. OK, she stole this idea from the Bible but it’s still really good advice. If you have a boomerang relationship – where you get together, break up, get together, break up, etc. – then you’re doing yourself a disservice. I don’t know anyone who watches a dog puke and then gobble the vomit back up and thinks, “Hm… that’s a good idea. I think I’ll try that the next time I’m in gastrointestinal distress.” Boomerang relationships are like dog chunks – there’s a reason you spewed it out and it’s not wise to lap it back up.

 

2. Hummingbirds are dangerous (or, little packages can be evil). My Mom believes hummingbirds will peck your eyes out because they’re attracted to the sparkle. She also believes people with little feet are mean. There’s a theme here, and in a Texan way of saying things the theme is, “The Devil is in the Details.” Little things matter. Little things that are ignored end up biting you hard in the tail end – kind of like a Pomeranian with sharp, pointy teeth and a bad attitude. Pay attention to the little things for life-long success.

 

3. Always wear clean underwear and clean your house before you go on vacation. My whole life I have gone on a cleaning spree before leaving the house for longer than it takes to click your heels three times and say, “There’s no place like home.” My mom taught me that if you’re in an unexpected accident you’d best be wearing clean underwear and leave your house the way you’d like to be remembered. If you want to be known as a slob, leave a messy house for the authorities to explore. If you want to be a leader, leave your house organized and clean. (Simple advice… with four kids I’m an uncomfortable inhabitant of slob camp… until an overnight trip. Then I clean, clean, clean so I’ll be considered a leader.) I don’t ask questions about the underwear, I just follow her instructions.

 

As you can see, the bits of wisdom I’ve gleaned from simply being in the same room with my mother are significant. Next up I’ll be sharing a few things I’ve learned from my dad.

 

What are some fun customs you’ve inherited from your parents?

 

 

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If you like this post, feel free to share it (with attribution).
Copyright © StealingFaith.com 2010-2013 | All rights reserved

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