The Posts That Brought You Here Over the Last 8 Months

I don't know the who or why to this photo but it's going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.
I don’t know the who or why to this photo but it’s going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

My dear friends. In my blogging break the past eight months I had completely forgotten the joy I receive when I take a look at the search terms that people put into The Google that bring them to StealingFaith.

 

It’s hard for me to believe that people will pull up their search engines and type these phrases. And then, they arrived at this website as a response to these search terms.

 

Oh, the sweet, humorous joy of it all is hard to contain! I had forgotten the great variety of topics I’ve blogged about in the past that would make these quirky phrases relevant!

 

Today I will continue in the tradition of The Posts That Brought You Here and share the 10 most intriguing search terms of the last quarter… and my best guess for the posts these terms discovered.

 

1. Samwise gamgee. So maybe this isn’t the funniest search term to start with, but it may be the most inspiring. I don’t know anyone who can’t love on the grand ideas presented in the Lord of the Rings, and the true friendship offered by Samwise Gamgee. The quote in this post helps us remember It’s Worth Fighting For.

 

2. Suppository stories. I’m not sure how I feel about this search term, but it came up in more than five variations on the search list. I’m guessing it has something to do with Dos and the Thunder Poop. This story just never gets old. I can’t wait to tell it to Dos’ future spouse. It will be memorable.

 

3. stealingfaith family planning. Though some might clai with four kids it’s unlikely that we did any family planning at all but that’s just not the case! We strategically opened the door to kiddos using Natural Family Planning and I share our reasons why in this post, Going Natural.

 

4. trapper keeper kittens. I’m certain this search term had something to do with my memory of a Trapper Keeper with kittens on the front I got for Christmas one year, because who doesn’t fondly remember presents from the Revco?! My memories, on display, in The Christmas of the Guinea Pig. But, just as a bonus to all who care, I’ll share this lovely video of kittens: CLICK HERE FOR KITTENS. Lucky you.

 

5. is classical conversations a cult. The quick answer? No. But the reality, I love Classical Conversation quite a bit. This organization makes homeschooling possible for our family and we’ve bought in hook line and sinker! Just in case you’d like to drink the CC Kool-Aid, too, here’s a link to their website, Classical Conversations. You can thank me later.

 

6. help stepped in dog vomit barefoot. My initial reaction is that there are more problems than dog vomit when you turn to Google before the Bounty quicker-picker-upper, but that might just be me being judgmental and all. Despite my faith in your emergency decision-making skills, I can comfort you by sharing I’ve been there, done that. Then I blogged about it. It’s not fresh like Teen Spirit.

 

7. thongs at the minnesota state fair. Oh dear heavens. I pray this is talking about the thong on your foot rather than the thong in your… ahem. I’m scared, though, knowing the crazy things that can happen at a state fair. In order to venture into safer anatomical territory, I’ll just redirect you to the three part series of the best fairs, festivals, and funny events in the United States.

 

8. how to tell roommate not to borrow my underwear. Dude. This is messed up and I’m just sorry you’ve had this experience. I’m guessing this term turned up a post where I interviewed Kikolani with Three Simple Questions, but can I just say… I’m sorry? Underwear is an intensely personal item and it’s a bummer you had to share. I suppose you might find some thongs at the state fair if you’re really in the market, however.

 

9. can tape get the hair from underarms. Well yes, duh! It can also make you scream like a little girl who just saw Elsa Let It Go in person. I believe it’s about as much fun to use duct tape to remove armpit hair as it is to compare yourself to the standards put forth in Family Fun magazine, but you be the judge.

 

10. identify dogs by tongue. So… I searched this term myself and all I got was “Apologies, but no results were found.” I don’t know how to identify a dog by it’s tongue but I do know some random facts about the tongue like the fact that the blue whale has a tongue the size of an elephant and the hardest tongue twister in the English language is, “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.” Those won’t really help you in the real world but this post on 5 Worst Ways to Start a Conversation might get you a date. Or something like that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If you like this post, feel free to share it (with attribution).
Copyright © StealingFaith.com 2010-2013 | All rights reserved

Fantastic Festivals, Part 4

duct... Duct... DUCT!!!!! NOT DUCK!!!

These festivals… they’re just the topic that keeps giving! You’d think, with 30 festivals already mentioned, I’d be running out. But… NO!

 

What I am running out of is quirky ideas of why you should attend festivals, so if you’d like to leave your recommendations in the comments, I’d be grateful. In the meantime, I’ll mention one piece of advice I stole from a blog on festival-attending:

 

TAKE GLOWSTICKS, WET WIPES AND A BUCKET WITH A LID

“These are three essential items to pack. As soon as dusk starts to fall, every child at a festival wants their own glowstick. On site, they cost a fortune.

Also, take a bucket with a lid. Save yourself the bother of trekking around a campsite in the middle of the night because one of your children needs the loo. Let them go in a bucket.

Finally, you can never take enough wet wipes to a festival. A pack per person is about right. Double for toddlers.”

Now, for the next round of 10 festivals you don’t want to miss:

 

1. Avon Heritage Duct Tape Festival, Avon, OH. First things first, thank goodness the namers of this festival were wise enough to call it the “DUCT” tape festival, not the “DUCK” tape festival. I am genuinely offended every time I see “duck tape” written on anything because, hey, brainiacs, it’s tape originally used for ducts! There are no feathers or quacks involved!

 

(I went to the website to check out what happens here and – wouldn’t you know it! – they had that stupid “duck tape” there. I’m not writing anything else about the festival in protest. You’ll just have to find out for yourself as I stomp off in disgust.)

 

2. Port-Neuf Muzzleloaders Mountain Man Rendezvous, Pocatello, ID. This is like an episode of top shot, but fancier, because it uses French words like “rendezvous” and depicts the life and times of the Mountain Man Era in Idaho History. Traders (vendors) are allowed to sell only goods of the 1840’s in primitive canvas tents. I imagine there’s also a decent amount of gun powder. Recipe for muzzleloading bliss, right there!

 

3. LifeLight Music Festival, Worthing, SD. If you’ve always had a desire to drive out into the boondocks of South Dakota and have a religious hoe-down, LifeLight is your festival.

 

4. Electra Goat BBQ & Craft Show, Electra, TX. Somehow a goat BBQ and craft show aren’t the matched pair of, say, salt and pepper, peanut butter and jelly, or cheese and sprinkles in my mind. However, it must be a good time with six cooking events including goat, ribs, chicken, brisket, jackpot beans & steak where you could win $2,500 in prizes, a cow patty plop and free-admission dance. Ooh! Take me, take me!

5. National Polka Fest, Ennis, TX. Speaking of dancing, why don’t we go check out the polka festival? You know, my cousin married a man of Polish ancestry when I was about four-years-old. At the reception the guests all tried to get me to dance with the ring bearer but I was more interested in the “punch” fountain in the corner. Without my parent’s knowledge, I sidled up to that punch bowl and embraced the “bottoms up” philosophy.

 

I was the drunk flower girl dancing the polka all by herself. My parents … it was the first time I publicly embarrassed them. (They’re used to being embarrassed by me by now. I write a blog.)

 

6. Headless Chicken Days, Fruita, CO. In 1945, several Utah scientists claimed to know why a chicken whose head was cut off remained alive for 18 months. The story traveled around the country after “Life” magazine printed an article about the decapitated chicken. Today, the festival’s celebratory atmosphere is known to convince even modest spectators to compete in the Chicken Dance, Chicken Scramble Obstacle Course, Egg Drop Contest or run like a headless chicken in the 5K race. I still don’t know how (or if) the chicken lived headless.

 

7. Toad Suck Daze Festival, Conway, AR. I read an article about a hallucinogen administered by licking toads found in the Sonora Desert. The practice was endangering the toads and giving participants a wicked high. So when I saw the Toad Suck Daze Festival, I suspected drug culture.

 

Turns out this festival is not about drugs at all! The history behind this festival? Long ago, steamboats traveled the Arkansas River when it was deep enough. But when it wasn’t deep enough, the boats tied up to wait where the Toad Suck Lock and Dam now spans the river. Those impatient waiters spend their free time in the tavern where, “They [sucked] on the bottle ’til they swelled up like toads.” Who knew?

 

8. West Jefferson Annual Ox Roast, West Jefferson, OH. The highlight activity of this festival has to be the Kiddie Tractor Pull. I’m not sure seeing kids try to pull a tractor through the dirt is more fun than putting a preschooler in velcro pants and setting them loose riding a wooly sheep, but it has to be close, right?

 

9. DFW Dragon Boat, Kite, and Lantern Festival, Lake Carolyn, TX. This festival is right up Rapunzel’s alley, according to Disney’s version of the tale, Tangled. Enjoy dragon boat racing, kite flying, Asian & Pacific dance & martial arts demonstrations, Oriental food, shopping & informational booths,  and lantern displays.

 

10. O. Henry Pun-Off, Austin, TX.There’s a reason people in Austin wear t-shirts emblazoned with: “Keep Austin Weird.” They like pun-0ffs. OK, truth be told, I’d probably love this festival too, but who really wants to admit they went to a pun-off? The O. Henry Pun-Off is free admission (because who would pay to hear corny puns?) and you can sit in silent awe in the company of people using historic wordplay.

 

Don’t miss out on the previous episodes of our Fantastic Festival fun:

 

Fantastic Festivals, Part 1

Fantastic Festivals, Part 2

Fantastic Festivals, Part 3

We’re getting closer to the end of our festival exploration, which means you need to offer up your favorite noteworthy festivals for all of us to enjoy! Don’t forget to also leave YOUR reasons to attend a festival!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If you like this post, feel free to share it (with attribution).
Copyright © StealingFaith.com 2010-2013 | All rights reserved

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...