The Posts That Brought You Here Over the Last 8 Months

I don't know the who or why to this photo but it's going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.
I don’t know the who or why to this photo but it’s going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

My dear friends. In my blogging break the past eight months I had completely forgotten the joy I receive when I take a look at the search terms that people put into The Google that bring them to StealingFaith.

 

It’s hard for me to believe that people will pull up their search engines and type these phrases. And then, they arrived at this website as a response to these search terms.

 

Oh, the sweet, humorous joy of it all is hard to contain! I had forgotten the great variety of topics I’ve blogged about in the past that would make these quirky phrases relevant!

 

Today I will continue in the tradition of The Posts That Brought You Here and share the 10 most intriguing search terms of the last quarter… and my best guess for the posts these terms discovered.

 

1. Samwise gamgee. So maybe this isn’t the funniest search term to start with, but it may be the most inspiring. I don’t know anyone who can’t love on the grand ideas presented in the Lord of the Rings, and the true friendship offered by Samwise Gamgee. The quote in this post helps us remember It’s Worth Fighting For.

 

2. Suppository stories. I’m not sure how I feel about this search term, but it came up in more than five variations on the search list. I’m guessing it has something to do with Dos and the Thunder Poop. This story just never gets old. I can’t wait to tell it to Dos’ future spouse. It will be memorable.

 

3. stealingfaith family planning. Though some might clai with four kids it’s unlikely that we did any family planning at all but that’s just not the case! We strategically opened the door to kiddos using Natural Family Planning and I share our reasons why in this post, Going Natural.

 

4. trapper keeper kittens. I’m certain this search term had something to do with my memory of a Trapper Keeper with kittens on the front I got for Christmas one year, because who doesn’t fondly remember presents from the Revco?! My memories, on display, in The Christmas of the Guinea Pig. But, just as a bonus to all who care, I’ll share this lovely video of kittens: CLICK HERE FOR KITTENS. Lucky you.

 

5. is classical conversations a cult. The quick answer? No. But the reality, I love Classical Conversation quite a bit. This organization makes homeschooling possible for our family and we’ve bought in hook line and sinker! Just in case you’d like to drink the CC Kool-Aid, too, here’s a link to their website, Classical Conversations. You can thank me later.

 

6. help stepped in dog vomit barefoot. My initial reaction is that there are more problems than dog vomit when you turn to Google before the Bounty quicker-picker-upper, but that might just be me being judgmental and all. Despite my faith in your emergency decision-making skills, I can comfort you by sharing I’ve been there, done that. Then I blogged about it. It’s not fresh like Teen Spirit.

 

7. thongs at the minnesota state fair. Oh dear heavens. I pray this is talking about the thong on your foot rather than the thong in your… ahem. I’m scared, though, knowing the crazy things that can happen at a state fair. In order to venture into safer anatomical territory, I’ll just redirect you to the three part series of the best fairs, festivals, and funny events in the United States.

 

8. how to tell roommate not to borrow my underwear. Dude. This is messed up and I’m just sorry you’ve had this experience. I’m guessing this term turned up a post where I interviewed Kikolani with Three Simple Questions, but can I just say… I’m sorry? Underwear is an intensely personal item and it’s a bummer you had to share. I suppose you might find some thongs at the state fair if you’re really in the market, however.

 

9. can tape get the hair from underarms. Well yes, duh! It can also make you scream like a little girl who just saw Elsa Let It Go in person. I believe it’s about as much fun to use duct tape to remove armpit hair as it is to compare yourself to the standards put forth in Family Fun magazine, but you be the judge.

 

10. identify dogs by tongue. So… I searched this term myself and all I got was “Apologies, but no results were found.” I don’t know how to identify a dog by it’s tongue but I do know some random facts about the tongue like the fact that the blue whale has a tongue the size of an elephant and the hardest tongue twister in the English language is, “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.” Those won’t really help you in the real world but this post on 5 Worst Ways to Start a Conversation might get you a date. Or something like that.

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If you like this post, feel free to share it (with attribution).
Copyright © StealingFaith.com 2010-2013 | All rights reserved

The Christmas of the Guinea Pig

Krappweis / stock.xchng

This is the story of a guinea pig, Christmas, and how a six-year-old’s life lesson has to do with rabbits.

 

Christmas was a big deal growing up but our financial situation was always modest so any presents we received were a Really Big Deal.

 

When I was seven years old my greatest desire was a Trapper Keeper with kittens on it from Revco, the local drug store. When I woke up that Christmas morning and saw that Trapper Keeper… oh! I just couldn’t get over how lucky I was!

 

I may have been exceptionally excited about the Trapper Keeper because I could remember my gift from the previous year.

 

As a little six-year-old, still believing in Santa Claus but realizing that Mommy and Daddy were the financial backing of other gifts, I woke up to a stocking filled with navel oranges, life savers, bubble gum, and a medium-sized cardboard box.

 

When I unwrapped that cardboard box, there was something amazing inside!

 

A guinea pig! It was white and brown and very snuggly! It was mine, all mine!  Oh, the joy!

 

I held that guinea pig on our cream-colored velour sofa and gave my heart to it completely. I loved that guinea pig, we were meant to be fast friends.

 

The guinea pig was so willing to sit calmly on my lap! It was lovely with its pink nose and beaded eyes.

 

I couldn’t have been happier with my guinea pig!

 

Right up until the moment I realized it wasn’t breathing anymore.

 

Yes, folks, my parents gave me a guinea pig on Christmas morning and by lunchtime on Christmas day… it was dead.

 

Now that I’m a parent, I can only imagine what my own parents were thinking as I came to them, crying, with a dead guinea pig in my arms. The kicker, though, was that I looked at my mom, accusingly, and asked, “Did you get it on sale?!”

 

My mom assured me they did not get it on sale and we travelled an hour away on Christmas day to another city to pick up a new, very live guinea pig from the breeder. I remember being depressed about the new guinea pig. I had really loved the first one so the replacement was just… a replacement.

 

It turns out the guinea pig was separated from its mother too soon in order to send it home for a Christmas-morning reveal.

 

I had forgotten this story until today (proof the scars we receive as children really do heal). You see, we are now in the rabbit breeding business and there’s a gentleman who would like a rabbit for his child for Christmas… but the baby bunnies won’t be weaned and ready to go to their new homes until the first week of January.

 

Even so, I almost caved and told him we’d push it and let the babies go home on Christmas Eve… until I remembered my guinea pig story!

 

Nothing puts a damper on the Christmas spirit quite like a dead animal. I told the gentleman we’d provide a professional quality photo to wrap for the gift and visitation rights instead.

 

And that, my friends, is the end of that.

 

Did you ever get a heartbreaking Christmas gift? What happened?

 

 

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If you like this post, feel free to share it (with attribution).
Copyright © StealingFaith.com 2010-2013 | All rights reserved

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