Earlier this week I discovered a study that caused the sun to break through the clouds and the appearance of celestial angels toting gold-gilded harps.
Caffeine consumption has been positively associated with weight loss.
As much as I wish it were not the case, I have a complete addiction to Coca-Cola. There have been seasons of my life when I have quit but the majority of my time has been spent in an intimate relationship with the “real thing.”
I can prove it’s been a lifelong love affair.
When I was three we went on a family vacation; my parents bought a 2-liter of Coke and gave it to me for the first time. After my first hit of its sugary fizziness they told me I couldn’t have anymore until the next day.
In the morning they found me sleeping on the kitchen floor, curled around the 2-liter bottle.
As a college student and writer for the newspaper I worked the morning shift. Every day at 8 am I would belly up to the garish red counter of the student union bagel shop and order a garlic bagel, toasted, with jalapeño cream cheese and 32 ounces of Coke.
I still don’t know how I survived those days without producing a bleeding stomach ulcer.
Every time I get pregnant I make a wholehearted effort to stop with the caffeine consumption. Usually I succeed in quitting -or at least moderating my volume!- but as soon as the baby pops out of my midriff it’s back to the bubbly.
So, learning there’s a positive side to a habit that will likely lead to diabetes and insulin shots later in life makes my day!
Knowing that I can combine one of my greatest vices with one of my number-one wish list items (to return my stomach to it’s pre-babies trimness) is like a dream come true and totally worthy of gold-gilted harp music!
My creative side needs to combine this newfound information with previously released studies identifying calcium and dairy products as useful for weight loss. So here it is, folks, my million-dollar idea:
Super-Charged Cheese Sticks.
Add a shot of Five Hour Energy to the concoction of the concealed milk product used to form string cheese and create a delightful treat designed to help you live your super-sized life with the vim and vigor of a crack-shooting chipmunk.
Just think of the possibilities!
* Moms wanting to lose weight yet feel zestfully energized? Super-Charged Cheese Sticks.
* Kids need a quick, healthy snack before soccer practice that provides the energy needed to make them ultra competitive? Super-Charged Cheese Sticks.
* Grannies hoping to counteract their dietary supplement of prunes while helping them kick booty playing bridge? Super-Charged Cheese Sticks.
It’s admittedly not world peace but I think I’m on to something here!
What practical application of science have you invented?
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