Pickled Okra, Snickers & Pregnancy Tests
I experienced a flash of sheer joy last night when I saw a jar of pickled okra in the refrigerator.
It was nestled beside the jar of pimento-stuffed green olives but had been strategically hidden from sight underneath the cheese drawer, which was why I was excited to see it again.
Lewis & Clark had nothing on explorations and discovery of refrigerator contents.
Pickled okra, the fuzzy vegetable with a tangy taste, is one of my favorite treats. I have had to moderate my eating of it, though. It seems that if I eat it too close to bedtime it gives me wild nightmares.
I woke up crying after an okra-inspired dream of my dear Lizard being killed shortly after our wedding. He begged me to lay of the pickled okra before bed for the sake of our marriage and I agreed.
Good decision. Never regretted it.
But, it being quite awhile before bed when I was reunited with them last night, I ate them then posted my joy over the pickled okra as a facebook status and mentioned it was a good chaser to the Snickers bar I had just inhaled.
And several people asked if I was pregnant in the comment of the post.
No, you judgemental twerps! I am not pregnant! I just like strange food combinations!
But I was rattled enough by the accusations to take a pregnancy test, which came out negative.
(Yes, I have pregnancy tests just laying around the house because I like like firm answers in my life and Big Lots had an incredible sale of them awhile back and I bought enough sticks for a monthly test for three years. And then I got pregnant with Tres. So, basically, pregnancy tests are a currency of little value here and I feel no guilt about testing after a sensory mismash in my mouth. So there. I’m now feeling insecure for admitting this publicly.)
I celebrated the news of non-fertility by consuming a loaf of french bread, cracked pepper Triscuts and 3 Musketeers mint chocolate miniatures from two Christmases ago I found in the back of the pantry.
Then I thought about all the ways taking pregnancy test is like riding a roller coaster.
- There’s an adrenaline rush.
- You wait for an eternity before taking an intense, emotional plunge either up or down.
- After the ride you feel both elated and sick.
- Sometimes there’s drama deciding who you’re taking the ride with.
- Your one-on-one conversation with your Creator is completed with gasps and many pleas for courage and strength.
That’s all I’ve got on my mind right now. Enjoy.