If there are small children around you may want to shield them from the computer screen as I’m about to reveal a bit of news that mau shatter their juvenile dreams completely.

I’ve met the tooth fairy.

The tooth fairy is not four inches tall. The tooth fairy does not fly. The tooth fairy does not emit sparkly powder like a fragrance mister.

The tooth fairy is not even… A female.

Last night I met the tooth fairy. The tooth fairy is six feet tall, wears a goatee and blue jeans, and is a man.

A quite handsome man at that.

(So I kissed him.)

The backstory is the past few days have been full of ecstatic tooth wiggling for Uno. She’s thought of nothing but her first loose tooth.

She requested only soft foods so her tooth would not be over-taxed completing it’s toothly duties.

She repeatedly asked if she would be getting a permanent one.

And when I say “repeatedly” I mean I fielded that question as many times as she took a breath.

To say the loose tooth has been consuming is an understatement.

Then, yesterday at school while Uno was happily completing center time, that loose tooth launched itself from her mouth!

She snatched it from the air with her snitchy fingers and yelled:

“Lookee here! My tooth!”

(yes, that’s a direct quote)

(and, yes, it was delivered with significant amounts of southern twang.)

So, last night when Uno went to bed and Dos drifted off to spend quality time with the Sand Man somewhere between questions 741 and 742, the Mommy and Daddy on duty discussed the going rate for a tooth these days.

In our house, the tooth is worth a buck. Case dismissed.

Then Lizard walked in, snagged the tooth, made the trade, and left their room.

What a milestone! Our very first tooth, lost!

I’m comforting my sentimental side with the knowledge that since humans have 29 “primary” teeth and 32 “permanent” teeth, I will have at least 59 more opportunities to play tooth fairy between all the pearly whites of Uno, Dos, and Tres.

So, the cat’s out of the bag and the tooth fairy is busted.

As for me, I’m going to call Uno “snaggle” and she if she misunderstands and thinks she’s a fruit drink.

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One thought on “Toothless

  • May 1, 2011 at 8:28 am

    For Vinny, we give Golden Dollars for teeth. He thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world.


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