I’m not sure what defines a “facebook addict” but I’m showing creeper symptoms.
I like status updates.
It’s a type of voyeurism, I suppose, but it also gives me ideas about what people are thinking.
For example, I saw this question a few days ago: “Serious question of the day: what defines a person, who they are, who they try to be, or who they want to be?”
That’s a solid idea to chew on, isn’t it? Because aren’t all of us trying to create our identity all the time?
I could throw Identity Development Theories because, I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I do have a master’s degree in a field that talks quite a bit about college student identity development.
(And, I do mean to brag here: I can still fit into the same earrings I wore in high school. Don’t be too jealous – they are large gold hoops that went well with my feathered bangs and leg warmers.)
What defines a person?
- Who they are?
- Who they try to be?
- Who they want to be?
Isn’t the answer all three?
I’d even go a step further and say identity development is making good progress when who we are is the same as who we try to be.
Yes, we all have bad days.
(In fact, I experienced a bad day just today. It was ugly but a heartfelt prayer, big cup of coffee, good conversation and a bowl of oatmeal seem to have set me on the right path.)
(Oatmeal isn’t just for geriatrics. Stop mocking me.)
Yes, we all get into stressful situations where our reactions are not typical and may or may not strip nekkid, crawl on top of a Chevy Impala and preach fire and brimstone down upon passing bystanders.
(You haven’t done that? Oh. Well, neither have I, but I’m sure it’s possible.)
Yes, we all have dreams or becoming a better version of ourselves.
I think we’re always a work in progress for identity development but along the way we discover our non-negotiable items, the boulders of our personality and we set them solidly within our life.
Here’s what else I know:
1. You aren’t trapped into the person you are by genetics or environment. Yes, genetics and environment create tendencies for you to act in certain ways, but you are the master of your own universe and your identity is defined by your daily choices. You are not helpless. So claim your identity for yourself!
2. Change is possible. This isn’t a change you can believe in Obama-style (I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Please forgive the easy slam.) Look around at the people you admire and decide what makes them special. Then blend those aspects into your identity. We’re all cannibals at heart and imitation is the best form of flattery.
3. Keep your dreams alive. Somewhere between single and mom with three ruffians I went through a pretty major identity change. Instead of being the fun-loving gal up for a road trip at a moments notice I became a grouchy, sleep deprived woman who couldn’t leave home without four diapers, three sippy cups, two snacks, one major attitude and zero tolerance for anyone in the world having fun without me.
I know, it’s hard to imagine I’m not all kicks and giggles full of rainbows and candy corn but I promise, it wasn’t pretty.
I’ve had to carefully reconstruct the woman I was, reconcile it with the woman I want to become, and work daily toward that goal with hope even when I fail miserably at the “happy, happy, happy” facade. There are successful days and horrible days, but the important piece is I’ve written down what I’m working toward and tomorrow is a new day with great promise.
Keep dreaming. Keep living. Stay faithful. Work towards liking the person you see in the mirror. You’ll be amazed at how awesome you will be!
What are your recommendations for identity development?
(P.S. If you’re freaked out by the photo for today’s post, you should be. I’m scared too. But I bet that geriatric Barbie eats oatmeal for breakfast and is still pretending to be whatever someone else wants her to be. Don’t be geriatric Barbie. You were made for greater things.)
(And, if you like StealingFaith.com don’t forget to A) share posts with friends B) click the star ratings and C) send me suggestions for future posts. I need help, possibly professionally but for now I know I need writing topics.)