5 Pros/ 5 Cons

I’m going to ask my true love to watch the kids solo more often.

When he does daddy duty, my, oh, my he does it right!

Today while I attended the writer’s conference he took the ruffians down to the beach for a two-mile walk, a ride on the carousel, swimming, and for good foods.

End result, it’s 6:30 p.m. and we have three kids completely crashed out in the hotel room (oh, and Daddy’s crashed, too. But that’s a sacrifice for the team.)

There’s something about seeing my world juxtaposed that makes me thoughtful. Here I was, at a conference all day trying to learn the craft of writing better, pitching book ideas, getting feedback, meeting other writers… it was invigorating.

Then I come back to reality and have three little urchins clamoring for the mommy attention they missed all day. In a flash I go from composed professional to the woman covered in peanut butter, changing diapers, and lacking a unique first name – “Mommy” will do just fine, thankyouverymuch.

Uno is asleep on the pull-out sofa, Dos is asleep on my left leg and Tres is asleep on Lizard’s chest. It’s a time for dreaming.

What would life look like if I’d never had these kids?

  • I wouldn’t be writing non-fiction for the marriage, relationships, women’s issues category!
  • I wouldn’t have embarrassing stories galore of bodily fluids.
  • I wouldn’t have an intimate relationship with Clairol hair coloring products.
  • I wouldn’t have a lard baby.
  • I wouldn’t question my ability to complete a thought process.

Those are pretty neat things, right? But then I think about what has gotten better because of these little ruffians…

  • I laugh. And laugh. Because who can’t laugh at a 4-year-old telling you “N. & O. kissed me because I think they love me. I tried to run away from them but them just kissed me!”
  • I hurt. It’s the hurts so good kind of hurt – I look at them and my heart hurts from loving them so much. I memorize the curve of their cheek, the feel of their hand in mine, the twinkle in their eyes and am consumed to the point of pain with my love.
  • I wonder. Seeing the world through their eyes is a trip. They notice the tiny, inconsequential things I brushed away long ago. They analyze the world, they adventure in their minds… and they take me with them on their journey.
  • I stopped caring about the inconsequential. I’ve grown so much as a mother! Only after being a mother did I realize life isn’t about having shoes that match every outfit or being 10 minutes early for everything. I started to see the people around me as precious and loved, and try to treat them that way.
  • I have a greater purpose. Yes, I know we each have a purpose, but these girls, they need me. Really. If there has ever been a reason to live it’s because these precious gifts of life have been given to me to steward. That’s not a little thing.

Thanks for letting me be thoughtful tonight.

Do you have kids? If so, what are some of the pros & cons of having your kiddos?

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7 thoughts on “5 Pros/ 5 Cons

  • September 24, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    I logged in to help you get to 13,000. I love your posts, but I’ll pass the beef jerky on to Bongo.

  • September 24, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    I’m nearly 52 yrs old. I never had children…not by choice. At least, not by my choice. I tried for almost 5 yrs to have a child but I kept miscarrying. It used to hurt me to my very core that I never had a child but today I’m okay, even almost happy. I’ve accepted it. I lost 4 pregnancies, the last one was the hardest. I carried that one for 6 weeks knowing he/she was dead. I lost it at the end of my first trimester. The physical pain was horrible, but the mental pain was unbearable. It stayed with me for a very long time, maybe 10 years. I’m okay now, at least I think I am.

    • September 26, 2011 at 9:22 pm

      Thank you for sharing, Pam. That’s so challenging. And, you know, while I know it must be a pang on occasion, I can’t help but imagine all the other things you’ve accomplished I will never have a change to even touch because I’m too busy trying to keep my pants on (from the kids pulling them down while they try to climb me!).

  • September 25, 2011 at 9:03 am

    So so true! And now my love for my grandkids is exactly the same! Hope to connect soon and hope, too, that the writers’ conference was a good thing for you….Jan

  • September 26, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    I love being gone for the day because I love getting the excited to see you reaction from the kids. How selfish is that?!

    • September 26, 2011 at 9:08 pm

      Maybe a little selfish, but hey, it’s real and it’s important to remember how important you are to them as mommy! Feel no shame! 🙂


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