Swing Vote: New Mexico. Unmentionable Aliens, Dirt Roads, and Energy Problems Solved.

Before I say a single thing about the Land of Enchantment I need to apologize for my unannounced absence.

 

The good news? I have a new niece! My sister, after many, many hours of labor, gave birth to a perfect little girl. We are so, so happy!

 

The questionable news? I’ve had her older daughter along with my own rambunctious ruffians. What can I tell you about this experience?

 

Well, we have awesome kids in our family. (Duh!)

 

If we can figure out a way to harness the energy of our children we could solve the energy problems of the world!

 

Needless to say, I didn’t want to write a post that looked like a squirrel ran across the keyboard. So I took my exhausted self to bed and presumed upon your grace.

 

Thank you.

 

Now. New Mexico. It’s our last chance to learn a little more about this state!

 

During the height of the so-called lawless era of the late 1800s when Lew Wallace served as territorial Governor, he wrote the popular historical novel Ben-Hur. First published in 1880, it was made into a movie in 1959 starring Charleton Heston.

 

Now that is a classic film, right up there with all those movies depicting Jesus as a Caucasian man with piercing blue eyes wearing a white bath robe. Good times.

 

Despite some great ski areas like Taos and Angel Fire, New Mexico isn’t much for precipitation as a philosophy. Since New Mexico’s climate is so dry 3/4 of the roads are left unpaved. The roads don’t wash away… and in the capital, Santa Fe, (oldest capital in the U.S.!) an unpaved road is a sure sign you’re on your way toward million-dollar homes.

 

And speaking of Toas, the stomping grounds of actress Julia Roberts, Taos Pueblo is located 2 miles north of the city of Taos. It is one of the oldest continuously occupied communities in the United States. People still live in some of its 900 year old buildings.

 

I can’t say for certain but I suspect a 900-year-old building is probably lacking a bit in modern plumbing conveniences. Who said outhouses were outdated?

 

Carrizozo, NM, despite having an awesome name, is a town I will probably have to avoid. You see, it’s illegal for a woman to appear unshaven in public there. While I don’t have problems with facial hair, I take the No-Shave November philosophy seriously and my legs are sporting a crop almost thick enough to braid. I don’t want to get jailed in Carrizozo!

 

It’s easier to get in trouble in Las Cruces, however. There it’s illegal to carry a lunch box down the street. Because lunch boxes can be downright in cinerary when put in the wrong crowd.

 

And I don’t know about that whole Carlsbad place. I might not get along there – they have banned the Merriam-Webster Dictionary! Sickos.

 

Finally, even though idiots are not allowed to vote (which brings the whole concept of the Swing Vote movie with Kevin Costner into question), the people are generally friendly toward others. You would guess, New Mexico has the highest concentration of Catholics in the United States.

 

I wanted to include some interesting facts about aliens. There’s no doubt people believe there was an alien encounter in Roswell in 1947 (and several run-ins since). The adventure has spawned a large following of very strange people with very odd websites.

 

The truth of the matter is I started to researching some of this stuff and ended up reading stories about child abductions and a belief there are underground warehouses of aliens feeding off of humans and the whole thing scarred my retinas and freaked me out a lot.

 

So I’m not going to say a word about aliens. For fear they’ll come eat my children.

 

Which would ruin my plan for world domination by harnessing their natural energy. That would be a crying shame.

 

Thanks for your patience – don’t forget, it’s not too late for a New Mexico friend to stop by and leave a comment about their state! See you tomorrow!