Pink Grief with Frog Feet
I wallowed in a new level of ridiculousness today. I’m not proud.
My sister called this morning to talk about her baking nephew. It was a great conversation, we caught up on all sorts of stuff, then we talked the nitty-gritty of our clothing swap.
See, she has two daughters that land in size right after Dos and Tres. Since I’m a firm believer there are really only about six sets of children’s clothing in the world and they simply get passed from family to family, Uno and Dos wear our girl clothes, I pass them on to my #1 niece, get them back for Tres, pass them on to #2 niece. It’s been a great process and we’re currently in a switching back and forth period.
So, until yesterday I was 80% certain we were having another girl and expected we would get the clothes back from #2 niece, use them for our little Fyra, and I could have a parting ceremony with the clothing for each size.
But this morning I realized I’ve put away all clothing up to size 3T without a true goodbye. Now I won’t have another chance to see my little Fyra wearing the clothes. Because there’s a son in my belly.
Oh, the intensity of the emotion washing over me! I thought of the cute pink sleeper with frog toes and, well, that was it. I sobbed over a frog-footed sleeper.
My sister told me if it mattered that much I should just dress the boy in the pink sleeper. That made me cry harder because I’m already scared the dude will be so surrounded by estrogen he’ll choose to watch Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel in his free time as a teenager. I don’t need to dress him in his sister’s clothing because I never said goodbye to the threads.
So, yes. I am grieving over pink and purple sleepers. I know this is foolish. I also know I cannot give a real explanation for my actions.
I do know I must have a closing ceremony with all the clothing before I either sell it or pass it on to another family to continue the six degrees of kid’s clothes separation. So, bring on the tubs of girl clothes. I’m ready to say goodbye.
Have you ever really missed something that isn’t really that important?
Relish the fact that you will have a son and 3 wonderful daughters. I will never know the joy of having a girl. And that makes me cry.
I tackled 12 overflowing tubs of baby girl clothes last Summer. I do believe sub-conciously I had not tackled them because I dreaded the emotions I would feel. As I sorted through them I was overcome with a vast waterfall of emotions equivalent to Niagara Falls…_gh! It was dreadful at the time, however sorting through them, reminiscing and saving a few “special” items in a Memorabilia Box has freed me of much Pain and Suffering. Both physically (the storage space) and mentally. I do have a bin containing blankets n’ such that are going to be made into quilts for each of our five children. I hope one day they will be appreciated with all the memories each stitch holds. My suggestion would be to make a “Toss” pile – items that are stained and will not be re-used by anyone, “second-Hand” pile for items that will be delivered to a local store for re-sale and a little profit in your pocket for the new ‘Blue’ items you’ll be needing, and a small pile (for each girl) containing a few items with fond memories and heartstrings attached. Hope this helps you. I feel every ounce of your emotion. It is a great milestone for a mother to achieve. One of those, wish someone would have warned me about this. Best of luck in your endeavor my friend.
Totallyget the clothes thing. I wanted to look through them all just one moretime before passing them on. Luckily sanity won over and I didn’t unpack bags of clothing.
So glad a boy is coming your wAy. My son amongst 3 girls love watching Nate- yes his fathers so proud when he and I can have decorating conversations together