Donkey Internet

I came very close to giving up on a blog post tonight. I’d like to say it was my strong sense of work ethic that brought me back to the keyboard but that would be a lie.

 

It’s all your fault. Actually, the fault of a commenter.

 

The NomadicMama commented on yesterday’s post and told me it made her laugh. That, my friends, is all the incentive I need to whip out the Macbook Air and set my fingers loose on the keys to tell you about the funniest story I’ve seen lately.

 

Wi-fi donkeys.

 

I kid you not. (And no, that was not a reference to a goat youngling.)

 

It seems the Holy Land is upping their technology standards. According to this article, “A biblical park tourist attraction in Israel has fused together the ancient and online worlds by equipping its donkeys with wireless routers.”

 

I’m counting at least three kinds of wrong in that sentence. Let me elaborate:

1. Biblical theme park. Anyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows I’m pretty Bible-friendly. I like Israel. I like theme parks. These are all good things. But combining them together, eh, I do not know that this is a good thing.

Kind of like putting an Atomic Fireball in ice cream. Is is possible, yes? Are those good things on their own? Yes. But is this a combination destined to bring about wails of disappointment? Yes it is.

2. Donkeys. This will probably come as a surprise, but I grew up a little country. With goat, chickens and such. We did not have a donkey, but our neighbors possessed a kind donkey named Sweetpea and sometimes we would ride her around. Sounds idyllic, huh?

Here’s the real scoop. That donkey would sit in the pen, quietly munching grass, leading our 7-year-old minds to believe it was totally on board with the donkey-riding plan. (Oh, I cannot tell you how badly I wanted to write “ass-riding plan” just then. But I figured it would bother my husband, who also objected when I told our children the Christmas Story and said Mary rode into Bethlehem riding an ass. Some people are so easily offended.)

Alas, as soon as we would sling our legs over Sweetpea’s back, that hee-haw would take off like a bronco and we would end up on the ground on our backs with alfalfa in the hair. (Except for the times we landed in manure. And that did happen. Regularly.)

With this background of donkey knowledge, I’m concerned for the Biblical theme park.

3. Equipping the donkey with a wi-fi router. You know the donkey’s going to get brain cancer from all those wi-fi waves. Just like you know you’re going to get cancer in your hand from carrying your cell phone around non-stop.

No one will care about the donkey, though, because they’re too busy uploading their Instagram photos to Facebook. That’s how our world rolls.

 

Now comes the serious statement of my high and mighty commentary. As awful as the idea of a donkey router is… I would totally use it if I were astride that donkey myself.

 

I am an internet junkie. And I don’t care if the donkey knows it.

 

Would you use the donkey service?