5 Worst Ways to Start a Conversation

Party season is right around the corner and I know I’m going to be in situations that make me tongue-tied.


I got to thinking… whether it be a party or some other medium of communication, what are the worst, funniest ways I could possibly start a memorable conversation?


Please, join in the fun:


1. “You have a strong stomach, right?” The possibilities coming from this point are endless. I could talk about butchering a fowl, bodily functions of my children, the awkwardness of a hug from a senior citizen smelling of stale urine… it could go in many directions. But the best part of this question? Nobody’s going to admit they have a weak stomach because they’re afraid someone will jump from the bushes and whack them with a fun noodle for being a coward! Good times!


2. “I’ve had this wart…” I chose wart, but it could really pertain to anything of a personal nature. Acne is also an awful conversation starter, even though we’ve all experienced it. If there’s anything that could expel with force from your body and possibly smell… it’s an awful conversation starter.


3. “I believe your zipper is down.” First, anyone you say this to will be caught off guard. Additionally, by saying it you admit you did a once-over of the groin area. I’m absolutely on track with telling people about the pepper in their teeth… the zipper, it pushes my comfort level.


4. “I ate my twin in the womb.” I put this in simply as a nod to the movie Pitch Perfect. There were lines in there that were incredibly awkward… and yet I found myself laughing all the way through. Thank you for humoring me.


5. “I don’t want to touch sandpaper.” There are some topics so random no one can actually recover with a response. I think any hand tool would qualify, as well as the ability to work a cooking spice into the first sentence of the conversation.


What are the most awkward conversation starters you’ve heard?



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One thought on “5 Worst Ways to Start a Conversation

  • November 8, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    Oh, you should ask my husband… I frequently embarrass myself in conversation.

    For example:
    “Can you smell me?”

    Or the opener which has now achieved running joke status in our home:
    “I think I would make a good blind person.”



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