Get Out of My Way (and no one gets hurt)

There will come a day when my children will walk by a coffee shop and say, “That’s the scent of my childhood. My mom always smelled of coffee.”

I say that today about Downy fabric softener – but my kids will likely say that about coffee, as I drink that caffeinated beverage far more frequently than I complete laundry using Downy.

If they ever confront me about my addictions to Coca-Cola and coffee I will put down what I’m doing and give them my full attention. Then I will very carefully explain:

“We had four children in six years. Not a one of those children slept more than six hours at a time until well past 10 months old. Don’t judge; you owe caffeine a debt of gratitude as it saved your life more than once.”

My children, at their tender ages, do not realize the importance of coffee and soda in my daily routine. They act like getting a cup of coffee upon awakening is a privilege instead of a medical necessity!

Each morning I stumble from bed, hair sticking up like a peacock’s crest, eyes unfocused and crusty. Instead of clearing the path to the coffee machine before, the children create a footpath obstacle course of small acrylic horses, lip gloss applicators, and colored pencils while I have to battle my way through a spiderweb of words and requests for milk, breakfast, clothing, and justice.

They’ve even flopped themselves onto the floor in front of me in a desperate attempt to divert my single-minded java pot target.

No pain, no gain, they say.

And I say, “Challenge? Accepted.”

Then I stumble over them, enter the kitchen, and wrap my hands around a coffee mug while angels sing the Hallelujah Chorus.

Two moments later I am a functional human being. Thank you, coffee.

Do you have a special relationship with coffee? Are you children to blame?

This post was originally published November 8, 2012 and is being recycled as part of the “I’ve Been Around” summer! Hope you enjoyed it and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!