Mr. Bee-Man

This weekend we attended the Master Gardner Plant sale for our area and I found myself in a workshop about beekeeping.

I’m a fan of bees. I am concerned that the bees are disappearing. Two of our good friends have begun keeping bees and they are very happy with their choice and I want to learn more about bee keeping because you never know… maybe bees are in our future here at the manic microfarm.

When I arrived at the workshop, I was generously welcomed into the room by a man who reeked of organic. I’ve never used that phrase before but I bet it calls a picture up in your mind – cream colored cotton acolytes shirt, drawstring, shapeless cream cotton pants, long Jesus-hair, facial scruff, and then, strangely Keen sandals.

He was super spiritual.

Our presenter opened his talk by giving credit to the professor at the local university who introduced him to bees. He said, “Bees are literally the very best thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.”

Now, I ran through the list of things in the running to be the very best thing I’ve ever experienced in my life, and bees weren’t on the list. This leads me to believe that Mr. Bee-Man and I might not see eye to eye on a few things. If I had doubted that I’d have to reference my own organic reek, which is, admittedly, rather low.

So stating that bees were the best thing in his life came off as a pretty bold statement in my mind, but hey, different strokes for different folks, right?

Mr. Bee-Man went on to share about his work with bees, and that the Africanized bees we see in our area are misjudged terribly because the work of the stinging insects is discounted by those who don’t understand the cosmic impact of the bee.

Ya’ll, I’m glad to announce to you that we’re all a part of a “cosmic fertilization process” and the bees are the key players.

According to Mr. Bee-Man, the bees in our area are multi-ethnic, not just Africanized, and we should be actively seeking to receive the gift of their vibrations into our very souls.

Those vibrations, as well as the venom extracted from a live bee stinger and used to tap along the meridian lines of our bodies, is tremendously effective in healing the “dis-ease” of our world, like “Acne, Allergies, Ankylosing, Spondylitis, Arthritis, Asthma, Chronic Pain, Cognitive Dysfunction, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Hyperactivity, Hypertension, Lyme, MS, Myalgia, Neuropathy, Parkinson’s, Sciatica, Shingles, Short-Term Memory Loss, Sports Injuries, Vision Assistance, Stress and Anxiety Relief.”

Friends – for only $125/session Mr. Bee-Man will tap you with bee venom all along the energy pathways of your body and your dis-ease will be addressed! If you’d like his phone number, just comment, and I’ll share it with you. He says it’s been incredibly beneficial to those who have tried everything else.

Toward the end of his presentation, Mr. Bee-Man recommended that we create bee sanctuaries wherever we live, welcoming the native bees into our garden with a hosting prayer, and through preparing the area for receiving the gift of the bees.

Everything is a part of the offering and receiving process according to Mr. Bee-Man.

For example, our leather shoes were an offering from the cow who sacrificed their life to cover our feet. We receive it with gratitude and, in doing so, honor the life of the cow with the use of its leather.

Mr. Bee-Man believes that our attitude of gratitude, our willingness to accept Oneness with Creator, is a key component of our relationship with the stingy insects, the vibrations of our souls, and the health of our communities. Our goal in life should be to offer more than we receive, and the honeybees and wildflowers are the first step in that process.

So let me just put this out there, because you might be from somewhere in the midwest where bee harmony isn’t a big thing:

If you are ever hesitant about sharing your faith, stop. There are people who have a religion of bees and they share it freely and get airtime at the Gardening Plant Sales.

Feel no shame. Enjoy the good vibrations.