Have you ever noticed how gorgeous children can be?
Not just pretty. Gorgeous.
There are some days I stop and just stare at my children, wondering how on earth they belong to me.
Someday someone in Wal-Mart is going to walk up to me and say, “You have beautiful children. I mean, I can look at you and see it’s not going to turn out so well in the long run, but right now, wow – they are stunning.”
It’ll probably be my chiropractor who says that. He’s always a great boost to my ego.
I did make it to Wal-Mart today with only one child. Tres kept me company and didn’t even squawk her whole way through.
The ability to shop without splitting my attention three different ways gave me opportunities to observe and ponder as I wheeled along. Here’s what I noticed:
- When someone is laying into their kids, I mean, really yelling at them, why do they typically have body piercings? There shouldn’t be a scientific correlation there, but my personal observation makes the case…
- How many varieties of shampoo are really necessary? How much money is in shampoo and conditioner? Because, I tell you what, there are so many options out there and I’m not sure if it really matters if I have Big, Sexy Hair that’s scented like jojoba and green tea…
- They had brand new shirts out there for $1. How is that possible? I just inherited a sewing machine and my extensive search of fabric stores now tells me that you cannot make a shirt for $1. Yet Wal-Mart does. That’s possibly magical, possibly a marketing ploy. I just don’t know which one…
- Since I’m pretty academic, having to go to Kumon would be an ego bruising for me. The fact that it’s located at the front of Wal-Mart infront of all the check out lines makes it even more challenging. It’s like a checkout walk of shame. “Hey, kids, you go in there and learn what you didn’t learn the first 20 times I taught you and I’ll spend some quality time getting cozy with a rutabaga and visiting the shampoo aisle.” Surely it makes more sense to teach the kid yourself than prioritize produce?
I’m terribly tired right now from my exhausting trip to the supercenter. Probably being too judgmental, because that’s what I do sometimes. But I would love to be an anthropologist and just study the microcosms of culture that exist in Wal-Mart.
Do you ever wonder if you’re on another planet when you visit your local Wal-Mart?