Comforted

We’ve been gone to a rabbit show, which was pretty fun. I have a saucy competitive streak in me and we were able to do well with several of our rabbits, so that made me very happy.

 

On the way back from the show we decided to take the kids through some of the national parks. And now, tonight, we find ourselves stuck in a ridiculously over priced hotel in Sequoia National Park because of a snow storm.

 

We pulled a 5th wheel and it’s been absolutely awesome… until tonight when the sleet and hail had us sliding out of control on the roads with sheer mountain drops on the side.

 

I prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more. Lizard was extremely tense and said he was having visions of looking at me and saying, “I’m sorry!” as we all fell to our death. It was pretty… out there. The kids were watching Anne of Green Gables and had no idea of what was happening.

 

We saw some bears. And some deer. And then we saw the road sign advertising a hotel and decided we’d take it regardless of the price. My, oh my, is this hotel making a killing tonight. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

 

After getting everyone in the room and learning long distance calls were charged (of course our cell phones aren’t working here in the park), I discovered the wireless was working! Of course I checked Facebook to distract myself from the last hairy bit of time we’d had…

 

… and learned the boys my kids played with all weekend and their mom were killed in a head on car accident on their way home.

 

I’m so rattled I feel like I can’t breath. I’m shocked and terribly, terribly upset. I know life is fragile. I write life is fragile. I recognize that as humans we don’t function well unless we pretend we’re tough, we’re strong, and we can do it.

 

But then life comes along and knocks the breath out of us.

 

I find myself obsessing about this horrible, tragic event. My hands shake, my stomach is in knots, I’m crying. This isn’t a tragedy that’s about me, or my family, but having walked so intimately with fear while driving in the snow this afternoon I know that, but by the grace of God, it could have been us.

 

I know that obsession is not useful, that I need to take a breath, think about something else, and then come back for more processing. So what do I do?

 

The best way to replace a thought in your head is to concentrate on something else. It’s rarely successful to stop a thought by thinking, “I can’t think about that anymore.” So, instead I need to actively choose another thought pattern.

 

As you know, I’ve been memorizing the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5) So I might as well start there, reviewing what I’ve already learned.

 

“And when Jesus saw the crowd gathered he began to teach them… blessed are the poor in spirit…

 

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted…”

 

I don’t understand why this crash happened. I probably never will, but I do trust and believe that those who mourn shall be comforted and that there is a good out of the most awful circumstances.

 

I got distracted, wanted to see if anyone from her family had posted on her Facebook page. Want to know what I found? A cover photo that said “FROG” – Fully Rely On God with the verse “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

 

That wasn’t changed today as someone scrambled to find something relevant to this situation. She’s always had that on her facebook page because that’s how she chose to live her life.

I bet she never knew she would minister to someone posthumously with a Facebook cover photo. But she did… Because, strangely, those who mourn are comforted…

 

If you can, send a prayer up for the Howell family, and hug those around you for a second longer. Life is fragile.