Bondo and the Squishy Item

In honor of my birthday, the number of which cannot be named, I would like to reveal the newer nickname Uno and Dos have bestowed upon me:

Squishy Bottoms.

Motherhood is such a rewarding, fantastic experience! Especially when your small children run up, smack you in the behind, yell, “squishy bottoms!” and run away while your toddler tries to climb you like Mt. Everest by grasping your pants legs and giving them a good pull. (She’s depantsed me more than once with these climbing antics, but fortunately not in public. Yet.)

Oh, we are blessed
Beyond all measure.

I think it’s also noteworthy Uno’s newest imaginary friend, the one she plays horse races with all the time, is a boy named Bondo.

For a moment I thought she was channeling U-2 but she was very clear with me, “Squishy Bottoms,” she said, “his name is Bon-Doe, not Bono or boomerang or boonie. Bondo. And he’s a lot of fun because I always beat him at the horse races.”

Which does explain why she lurches and hitch-runs around outside yelling, “Gee-haw!” most of the day.

And also that we’ve passed on our competitive spirits.

Gee-haw for us.

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2 thoughts on “Bondo and the Squishy Item

  • September 19, 2011 at 11:12 am

    HAHAHAHAHA! Well, Squishy Bottoms, I say all the time that parenting is the most humbling experience EVER! Try doing a pageant, and then have your daughters witness you gain back all of the weight you lost for the pageant! They are not very kind! If I was still a pre-teen, I would be in tears! 😉

  • September 22, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    Well, when I read your comment on my blog I wondered if you were a nutso, or a serial online ax murderer, or a crazed housewife, so I hopped over. I kinda love you. And if it makes you feel any better, Squishy Bottom, my three year son calls me Da Big Mama, which isn’t a whole lot better and I think also refers to my derriere. Yaah me. Anyway, I’m following you now and sure, we can talk about exchanging editorial skillz. What’s your book about? I have a little writer’s forum going between four friends of mine, but it would be nice to have a final say, a clean pair of eyes, etc. Also, they know me which is nice, but not nice, if you know what I mean. I’m 40,000 words in and totally stuck. If you have any advice for writer’s block, let me in on it. I know where I want to go (like the last quarter of the book) but getting there without rambling and creating filler is killing me at the moment.


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