Water-Logged Hot Pants

Yesterday I blogged over at Mommy Sorority and mentioned I’m taking the Watered Down Challenge.

This means for the last two mornings I have woken up and downed a HUGE glass of water in hopes it will cleanse my system and potentially demolish the lard baby.

So far it’s not working.

Of course, I’ve only been at it for two days, so what do you really expect?! I’m going to give it a full 30 days and then make an assessment of whether I’ve lost weight.

The cold hard truth is unless I stop drinking a gajillion ounces of Coca-Cola and eating handfuls of Goldfish crackers at midnight every day no challenge is likely to work.

I hate the facts of life.

But I figure the Watered Down Challenge is a better path to weight loss than Sauna Pants.

The Sauna Pant is not only disturbing to think about and horrifying to visualize on tv, it’s the perfect way to kill off multitudes of sperm for any man stupid enough to wear a moist heating pad around their middle.

No need for contraception, just wear the Sauna Pant!

I’m going to go out on a limb with the bold statement that the use of anything you plug in and attach to your nether regions should be carefully considered

In other news, Uno has decided on her future husband.

Tonight’s revelation is an abrupt change from her previous party line that she wasn’t going to ever get married because she’s not going to have babies. (This is where I feel so badly I’ve had c-sections and she’s convinced all babies require major abdominal surgery and a mama hyped up on hydrocodone for a few weeks. Sad day.)

After I explained multiple times she could get married and NOT have children and that would be ok, she decided maybe she would go ahead and take the plunge when the time came but she’d really like it if I would bear all her children. (Um… no.)

Tonight she told us she’s settled on the guy.

It’s a strapping young lad of five whole years. If she sticks with this plan, the poor boy will have no idea what hit him because if I can guarantee anything in life, it’s that little girl is going to get what she wants.

I mentioned to her she has plenty of time to think about her options and whether she’ll marry at all, and it’s good to develop a friendship and worry about romance much later in life.

Perhaps she can begin to think lovebird-ish thoughts around her 35th birthday or so. That would be ok with us.

My thankful thought for the day? I’m grateful for MOPS. I have a love/hate relationship with the Mothers of Preschoolers program, mostly because they try to make me do crafts all the time and sometimes the meetings remind me of my past life as a sorority girl a little too much.

But today I realized MOPS is a place where you don’t have to suck in your tummy.

And that’s a treasure.

Would you be interested in joining me in the Watered Down Challenge? I think it will be fun but I can’t promise anything for the results. Let’s discover together!