It’s been a full day around here and I’ve started three posts without finishing them.
This is due to one of three things:
1. The Starbuck’s I had at 2:30 p.m.
2. The baby who is teething.
3. My genetic inability to produce coherent thought.
None of these things really matter to you, I know that. I just don’t want to waste your time… I want to make you smile.
If I can’t get a smile I’ll be happy to get a grimace. You’re welcome.
With this spirit of comraderie, please let me share a few items you’ll wish you didn’t know after you read them:
1. The platypus has no nipples. “The milk is literally secreted through pores in the platypus’ skin where it pools up along grooves in the mother’s abdomen, ready to be licked up by the eager little offspring.”
2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. I guess that’s what makes an elephant so... explosive… hee hee hee. In one pound of peanut butter, it typically can contain up to 150 bug fragments and 5 rodent hairs. And in more Nut News, almonds are a member of the peach family.
3. There is no medical condition for the fear of clipping toenails. “There is no name of phobia of cutting toenails, but phobia concerning feet is Podophobia.”
4. You can be pegged with breast milk in the line of duty. “The deputies said Mrs. Robinette began yelling profanities when they approached the car and … removed her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the car with her breast milk… She faces charges of domestic violence, assault, obstructing official business, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.”
5. Your sweat knows your inclinations. “If you are right-handed you will sweat more from under your left arm. If you are left-handed, you will sweat more from under your right arm.”
6. You’ve got unnatural rhythm – or something like that. “While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot. (go ahead no one will see you) While doing this, draw the number “6″ in the air with your righthand. Your foot will change direction – that is a fact.”
7. Most U.S. car horns honk in the key of F. Just in case you need to, you know, sing along or something.
And that’s all I have for you tonight, my friends. Do you have anything I don’t know I want to know?