Stealing Faith

humor for relationships, family & life

Bento Box Bondage


I’ve done something I’ll probably regret forever. I googled “Bento Box.”

 

Stop the presses, folks. There are some lunchbox shenanigans afoot.

 

bento 1

Sponge Bob has always scared me.

Because everyone needs a bunny in their box.

Because everyone needs a bunny in their box.

The music notes add just the right touch.

The music notes add just the right touch.

 

Along with feeling a sense of chagrin about having to literally google a term that apparently the mothers of North America have become creatively familiar (my excuse? We homeschool!), I’m also comically distraught that we are now supposed to exhibit creativity, thematic originality, and consistently entertaining lunch attire to children who do not yet understand why it’s a questionable idea to wear a banana clip and mis-matched knee socks with plaid shorts?!

 

Really?!

 

I’ve previously written about my deep-seated distrust for Family Fun magazine and Pinterest, this discovery has brought all those emotions up to the forefront once again, as it seems like we keep setting completely unimportant standards up for ourselves, just so we can feel like we stink as parents when the ideals are not maintained. #firstworldproblems

 

I know there are some people who are wired to make art with their sandwiches and carrot sticks; strangely enough one of my very best friends has a brain like this and I respect her for it as much as I shake my head in confusion as her creativity. If this is what makes you thrive, so be it and here’s a virtual smack on the back for your awesomeness!

 

But then there’s the rest of us folks, the ones who can appreciate a beautiful sunset but have no idea what shades of colors make it up… these are the ones I think need to be freed from Bento Box Bondage.

 

Someone needs to exercise a dose of common sense, my friends. Every last bite of food, from the simple pb&j to the gourmet hummus and grape leaf will end up in a heap on the down side of the porcelain dumping grounds. Why kill yourself to create autumn leaves out of cheese slices and Rapunzel braids out of egg noodles?

 

Anyone can be perfect for a little while. No one can realistically be perfect all the time. Happiness does not come in the form of a well-cut piece of cheese.

 

Honestly, if our children grow up believing that life is supposed to come decorated stunningly and packaged perfectly, what expectations are we setting them up for as adults? This living of life we have does not come wrapped in beauty and bubble wrap; eventually something comes along like miscarriage or cancer, job loss, or relational disaster. There is always a challenge.

 

With that in mind, maybe we should teach our children to enjoy the nourishment and flavor of the ordinary rather than reach constantly for the spectacular to set them up for overall emotional and physical health success.

26 Responses to “Are You Pregnant?” When You’re Not Pregnant At All


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NYYU6ksWB1I/Ulrm1LMQJFI/AAAAAAAAAE4/IkSg7kWavQg/s1600/Bloated+Belly.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NYYU6ksWB1I/Ulrm1LMQJFI/AAAAAAAAAE4/IkSg7kWavQg/s1600/Bloated+Belly.jpg

I’d like to talk about something close to my heart — literally. The lard baby.

 

Last week Jennifer Garner – yes, that Jennifer Garner who is able to pull of a seriously crazy Thriller dance imitation in the movie 13 Going on 30 and is married to Ben Affleck – blatantly stated that she has a baby bump… without a baby inside.

 

Friends, Jennifer Garner has a lard baby, too! She told Ellen Degeneres all about it, summing it up with these words: “I am not pregnant, but I have had three kids and there is a bump,” she explained.

 

“From now on ladies, I will have a bump. And it will be my baby bump. And let’s just all settle in and get used to it. It’s not going anywhere. I have a bump. Its name is Violet, Sam, Sera.”

 

I’m not sure there is a way for me to like a person I’ve never met more, but if there is, Jennifer Garner has just paved the way.

 

I haven’t had to deal with magazine readers scrutinizing my midsection, or bold headlines discussing my fertility. But I have had strangers ask me when I’m due with my next child. The only thing is… I’m not pregnant and we’ve made it medically unlikely that I my uterus will ever again house a rapidly growing tenant.

 

Perhaps you, too, have experienced that awkward moment when people break the law of never asking a woman when she’s due without visibly seeing her stomach lurch, making it blatantly obvious there’s either an demon-possessed intestinal tract or a fetus fighting for space in that midriff. My lard baby has been celebrated while waiting in line at a Love’s rest stop, in a sporting goods store, at a homeschooling conference… at all of these lovely locations when you’re really not thinking about sucking your gut in.

 

No one really wants to be on the receiving end of the situation, but it still happens — and what are you supposed to say in response?

 

I typically try to take the high road and explain to people I had four tenants in my uterus in a space of six years, I love potato chips, and I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to the function of my own sweat glands. I try to smile and encourage them that I’m not upset and lately I’ve been telling myself that (now that I’m nudging 40-years-old with my tippee-toes) it’s a compliment these strangers think I’m young enough to be in the process of replication.

 

But, my friends, I also feel the need to prepare some creative come backs. If you have any, please leave them in the comments. In the meantime, here are twenty-six clever, tart, and/or hilarious responses to “When Are You Due?” when you aren’t due at all I’ve found (and embellished):

1. “I’m not pregnant, but I just ate a meal the size of an infant hippopotamus.”

2. “I’m actually not pregnant — perhaps that’s just one of the many things you can’t tell by looking at my body’s size and shape.”

3. “Oh no, that’s not a pregnant glow. I’m just super attractive. Thanks for noticing!”

4. “Don’t worry.  You’ll be the first to know when it happens because I always tell strangers before family.”

5. “Why?  Do I look fat?!”

6. “Actually, I just gave birth…but my body doesn’t realize that yet.”

7.  “I don’t have a baby in my tummy. It just looks like I do, thanks for encouraging me to support the Spanx brand.”

8. “I prefer not to talk about that. It’s bad luck.”

9. “My OB once said he never assumes a woman is pregnant until he sees a head coming out. Maybe you should do the same.”

10. “Nope, not pregnant yet, but we are having so much fun practicing! Would you like any tips?”

11. “YES, I am going to have five fat babies and name them all Dave! They shall be known as ‘The Daves’.”

12. “Wow, that’s awkward.”

13. “That’s a rather… personal question, isn’t it? What other personal questions would you like to ask me?”

14. “Oh, enough about me – let’s talk about you! When are going to >insert overly-personal life event here<?!”

15. “I hope not… it means my birth control isn’t working.”

16. “We’ve been trying for so long… (looks away) I think I might be barren.”

17. “Why do you ask?”

18. “Actually I’m infertile. Do you think you’d like to donate your eggs? I could pay you.”

19. “Oh, Heavens, no, I can’t *stand* children!”

20. “My insides are a rocky place where [husband’s] seed can find no purchase.”

21. “Not yet, but the night is still young!”

22. “Are you really that interested in what goes on in my bedroom? You don’t look like that type.”

23. “No baby, just fat!”

24. “I am not pregnant, but I will assume you are admiring my lovely glow.”

25. “I’m not pregnant, just wearing a tummy enhancing dress.”

26. “OH MY HEAVENS —  WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT I DON’T?!!!”

 

Again — I’d love to hear your own comebacks in the comments. Jennifer Garner, the lard babies of the world, and I both thank you.

 

Can of Boogers


alex27 / freeimages.com

alex27 / freeimages.com

So we’re going to Vegas for Thanksgiving this year.

 

Yes, I know it’s a little non-traditional, but not everyone can aspire to the Eiffel Tower (Vegas) and jumbotron (also Vegas). (Anyone know the movie reference I just made?) Nope, it takes a special sort of family to step away from the traditional and belly up to the buffet, but I think we’re up for the challenge.

 

Nothing was set in stone until just this morning. We’ve talked about getting out of town for the holiday but hadn’t confirmed anything in particular. When Uno asked what we were doing I told her we would be sitting around, picking our nose, and eating our boogers.

 

She looked unimpressed. Then she got a little gleam in her eye.

 

“I don’t think I have enough boogers to fill a platter, Mommy,” she said. “But I probably could fill a can and give it to you to serve everyone.”

 

Yes, folks, she’s my child. It was a proud moment for me. I mean, it really wasn’t that long ago that she couldn’t even string three words together to form a sentence and now, now she’s using sarcasm! Be still my beating heart!

 

The funny thing about rearing these children is that you’re never really sure how they’re going to turn out. You’re not even certain they’re going to make it out alive! So when they do something that warms your heart and makes you proud, my, oh, my, those are the moments to savor!

 

So that’s our big news of the day. We’ll be praying for reasonable water and the ability to splash in a pool, and I’m not actively seeking input on great (cheap) things to do with a passel of kiddos on a national holiday. Thanks in advance for your advice!

 

The Posts That Brought You Here Over the Last 8 Months


I don't know the who or why to this photo but it's going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

I don’t know the who or why to this photo but it’s going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

My dear friends. In my blogging break the past eight months I had completely forgotten the joy I receive when I take a look at the search terms that people put into The Google that bring them to StealingFaith.

 

It’s hard for me to believe that people will pull up their search engines and type these phrases. And then, they arrived at this website as a response to these search terms.

 

Oh, the sweet, humorous joy of it all is hard to contain! I had forgotten the great variety of topics I’ve blogged about in the past that would make these quirky phrases relevant!

 

Today I will continue in the tradition of The Posts That Brought You Here and share the 10 most intriguing search terms of the last quarter… and my best guess for the posts these terms discovered.

 

1. Samwise gamgee. So maybe this isn’t the funniest search term to start with, but it may be the most inspiring. I don’t know anyone who can’t love on the grand ideas presented in the Lord of the Rings, and the true friendship offered by Samwise Gamgee. The quote in this post helps us remember It’s Worth Fighting For.

 

2. Suppository stories. I’m not sure how I feel about this search term, but it came up in more than five variations on the search list. I’m guessing it has something to do with Dos and the Thunder Poop. This story just never gets old. I can’t wait to tell it to Dos’ future spouse. It will be memorable.

 

3. stealingfaith family planning. Though some might clai with four kids it’s unlikely that we did any family planning at all but that’s just not the case! We strategically opened the door to kiddos using Natural Family Planning and I share our reasons why in this post, Going Natural.

 

4. trapper keeper kittens. I’m certain this search term had something to do with my memory of a Trapper Keeper with kittens on the front I got for Christmas one year, because who doesn’t fondly remember presents from the Revco?! My memories, on display, in The Christmas of the Guinea Pig. But, just as a bonus to all who care, I’ll share this lovely video of kittens: CLICK HERE FOR KITTENS. Lucky you.

 

5. is classical conversations a cult. The quick answer? No. But the reality, I love Classical Conversation quite a bit. This organization makes homeschooling possible for our family and we’ve bought in hook line and sinker! Just in case you’d like to drink the CC Kool-Aid, too, here’s a link to their website, Classical Conversations. You can thank me later.

 

6. help stepped in dog vomit barefoot. My initial reaction is that there are more problems than dog vomit when you turn to Google before the Bounty quicker-picker-upper, but that might just be me being judgmental and all. Despite my faith in your emergency decision-making skills, I can comfort you by sharing I’ve been there, done that. Then I blogged about it. It’s not fresh like Teen Spirit.

 

7. thongs at the minnesota state fair. Oh dear heavens. I pray this is talking about the thong on your foot rather than the thong in your… ahem. I’m scared, though, knowing the crazy things that can happen at a state fair. In order to venture into safer anatomical territory, I’ll just redirect you to the three part series of the best fairs, festivals, and funny events in the United States.

 

8. how to tell roommate not to borrow my underwear. Dude. This is messed up and I’m just sorry you’ve had this experience. I’m guessing this term turned up a post where I interviewed Kikolani with Three Simple Questions, but can I just say… I’m sorry? Underwear is an intensely personal item and it’s a bummer you had to share. I suppose you might find some thongs at the state fair if you’re really in the market, however.

 

9. can tape get the hair from underarms. Well yes, duh! It can also make you scream like a little girl who just saw Elsa Let It Go in person. I believe it’s about as much fun to use duct tape to remove armpit hair as it is to compare yourself to the standards put forth in Family Fun magazine, but you be the judge.

 

10. identify dogs by tongue. So… I searched this term myself and all I got was “Apologies, but no results were found.” I don’t know how to identify a dog by it’s tongue but I do know some random facts about the tongue like the fact that the blue whale has a tongue the size of an elephant and the hardest tongue twister in the English language is, “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.” Those won’t really help you in the real world but this post on 5 Worst Ways to Start a Conversation might get you a date. Or something like that.

What I Learned from my 20-year High School Reunion


hbobis / freeimages.com

hbobis / freeimages.com

I recently had the privilege of attending my 20-year high school class reunion. Considering the amount of angst I felt while considering my participation, it seems reasonable that a blog post is in order about what I learned from the event.

 

(I’m still in a state of shock that there’s a “zero” after that “two,” but that’s beside the point.)

 

I didn’t attend my 10-year reunion, as I was newly married and didn’t want my husband to realize he’d married one of the class nerds. The 20-year reunion was a little less threatening to me as I’m more comfortable with myself and who I’ve become. Even so, it was nerve-wracking to wonder if these people were going to be mean and petty or decent adults.

 

Here are my observations:

 

1. We’ve all gotten fat(ter). May I just say it’s unfair that Spanx has not yet gotten around to marketing their products to the masculine demographic because wearing a panty with the squeezing capability of turning a newborn calf into a squirrel was a large part of my willingness to appear in front of people who only remember me as a girl all elbows and knees and frizzy hair. The dudes just don’t have access to the same physical aids. Such is life.

 

Our diets and lack of physical activity have taken their toll on us all. I blame childrearing and an abiding adoration for potato chips. Perhaps others can only say their jobs keep them too busy to spend the hours working on their physique. Whatever the excuse, all of us (some a little more than others) are an inflated version of our 18-year-old selves. That’s alright. We’re all still in there and we’re all pretty forgiving of the occurrence because we’re all guilty.

 

But really. I wore Spanx and even though I almost gave myself a black eye trying to pull them up after a potty break, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

2. We’ve realized this getting older thing isn’t black and white. I was pleasantly surprised to see all of the members of my graduating class talking to one another. By the end of the night they traditional stereotypical groups did tend to separate out again, but it wasn’t in an exclusive way – it seemed to be a natural process of people catching up with those they spent the most time with in high school.

 

People shared pictures of their kids, mentioned divorces, talked about jobs won and lost… and were generally supportive of one another whether they were talking accomplishments or failures. There were many different life paths in one room for a select period of time — and I don’t think anyone there thought they “had it all figured out.”

 

3. I’ve moved past high school. I was pleasantly surprised that everyone I spoke with was genuinely friendly and cool but at some point through the evening I realized it doesn’t really matter what my high school comrades think of me and how my life turned out. I have nothing to prove to them.

 

I am absolutely accountable to my husband, family, and close community… but not to people I see once every twenty years. They are welcome to have whatever opinion they’d like of how my life is turning out but that opinion is not needed for me to continue with my own adventures and lifestyle. What liberation!

 

4. It’s worth going. If you’ve been hesitant about whether to attend, based on my own experience, I’d encourage you to do it. The reunion was most certainly a surreal experience in many ways but it was also enjoyable and I was genuinely happy to spend time with people I haven’t stayed in touch with over Facebook. Not everyone shares openly on social media, face-to-face conversations are quite helpful!

 

5 Tips for How to Help A Grieving Friend


foobean01 / freeimages.com

foobean01 / freeimages.com

I wrote this five months ago, published it as a status update three months ago. This week a friend asked me to send it to her and I realized it has never made it to StealingFaith. Hope it’s useful to you – five months post-event it still rings true to me.

 

My father passed away four days ago.

 

His passing was in many ways a relief, as now he is free to be in heaven, away from the decline that kept him confined to bed and unable to care for himself. We miss him desperately but are also at peace with the reality that death is an unavoidable companion to life.

 

The post-death days, however, are a little different. I tend to believe that there are as many ways of grieving as there are people. I, myself, have cycled through sadness, anger, laughter, joy, and tears many times over each day!

 

I have always had a fear of what to say to people who are going through the loss of a loved one.

 

I don’t want to say nothing, because obviously it’s a big deal. Yet I feel uncertain because I don’t want my words to cause pain to the survivor, I want to honor the life of the person who died.

 

It’s scary to me!

 

Now that I’m on this side of the death experience, I have a few ideas of what might help.

 

1. Acknowledge it. Death is uncomfortable. I know it’s awkward to you and it’s hard for me to talk about it, but at least say something. A stumbling comment is more appreciated than silence.

 

2. Don’t require a response from me. So many people I run into will say, “How are you doing?” in the kindest way possible. I want to answer them. But our non-thinking cultural response is, “Fine,” and that’s an outright lie. I’m not fine. I’m broken-hearted. So I scramble to find an appropriate response, which is a little like popping the lid on a soda can that’s just been dropped – you might get more than you bargained for coming out!

 

Another way to greet me might be, “I’m sorry to hear about your dad. I’d love to talk about him with you when you’d like.” Give me the freedom to break down with you or walk away still smiling and worried about my grocery list (or whatever I was doing when I ran into you). I truly appreciate that you care, but the feelings are too raw to open up to every casual acquaintance.

 

3. Tell your stories. I’m in a season of coveting every memory possible. If you have any memory of the one who passed, share it! Simple statements about my dad like, “He always smiled like he was genuinely happy to see me,” is like a healing ointment to my soul. It doesn’t have to be long or detailed, it can be an observation of their character, a physical characteristic, or work they completed while alive. I do love the stories, but I’ll take anything you give me with joy.

 

4. Let me tell you stories. I realize that right now I’m a broken record and I’ve got one thing on my mind, my father. I want to preserve him in my memory, to make sure there are still elements alive of him through the skill of remembrance. I need to tell memories, even if I’m crying through them. Be my listening ear, don’t be afraid of my tears, just sit with me for a spell.

 

5. Remind me it won’t always be like this. There will come a time when I don’t sting all over with loss. Gently, softly allow me to wallow in my grief now and then gently, softly, remind me it won’t always feel like this. Invite me to do things. Don’t be offended if I say no. I can’t tell you what I’m ready to do from one hour to the next right now! So please, Just keep inviting and when I do come out – rejoice with me!

Well, hello there!


rulerIt’s hard to believe but yes, it’s been eight months since my last published post where I revealed the house destruction and reconstruction taking place, and the fact that I couldn’t find my pants.

 

You’ll be happy to know I located my pants.

 

I’ve been gone so long I forgot my username and password to the blog, and then when I found them again WordPress haughtily told me the world has changed and my previous password was “weak.” “It used to be strong!” I whispered to myself as I undated 14 plugins and went through five unapproved comments.

 

I’ve been blatantly missing from the world of blogging and I’m not sure how many people missed me, despite the fact I see there were 100 visitors in the last week to the site. I’m not entirely sure how committed I am to coming back… I miss blogging. I still have lots of thoughts to think and share. But I’ve been looking at my computer keyboard with concern, the screen is taunting me with one big question:

 

“What makes you think you know it all?”

 

The last few months have had significant happenings that have inhibited my utter devotion to www.stealingfaith.com. I’ll list a few, starting with the most significant: My dad died. My house was destroyed and is not reconstructed yet. We have four kids. We homeschool three of those children, currently on a blanket on the floor where our kitchen island will someday reside.

 

I’ve walked through this season with the utter knowledge that I do not have my life all put together with a bow on top and anything that comes out of my brain to this blog is simply my best guess at a good way to think or proceed for the time being. I have only a few things I’m truly certain about:

 

God is real. Love is essential. Laughter rejuvenates the broken hearted. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. This life throws curve balls.

 

If all of that sounds like something you can put up with, I’ll do my best to try to post more often than once every eight months. I’ll try to entertain you with stories of how my kids confused “Botox” and “buttocks” and then had a discussion about the merits of beauty treatments, and maybe every once in awhile I’ll be able to share something that seems to hold true about this life.

 

Deal?

I Used to Have a Bedroom


This used to be my bedroom.

This used to be my bedroom.

Those of you who have read for awhile know that a bit less than three years ago our family moved to a home measuring about 800 square feet. It was a lesson in coziness as we fit the humans, the Great Dane, and the poodles in the new space.

 

We’ve added a son and lost a poodle since the beginning, but there’s no doubt we’ve been all up in each other’s business for awhile now.

 

Yesterday, the day we’ve schemed toward arrived.

 

We began the remodel.

 

The remodel will morph our 800 square feet into almost 1,500 square feet, adding a bathroom, loft, and open living space. We’ve been kicking around plans and consulting experts and doing our best to dot the “i’s” and cross the “t’s” and yesterday, glorious yesterday, the work began!

 

They started by destroying our closet. Then the wall divider, the ceiling was raised, and holes were cut in the concrete pad to create the support beams for the loft.

 

Dust flew, men worked, and my glee was contagious.

 

Believe it or not, however, they didn’t finish the remodel in one day.

 

Extreme Makeovers has given me a different perspective of the timing of these things.

 

So last night I slept on the sofa because our bedroom is no longer. I have tip toed through the 8″ pathway between the boxes and microwave to reach the trash can.

 

There’s a reality of remodel I’ve never experienced. In order to get to 1,500 square feet our home has been reduced to 600 usable square feet.

 

Jeepers!

 

I don’t know how long this is going to take. I’m getting scared. I can’t find my pants.

 

No. Seriously.

 

I can’t find my pants.

 

 

What Makes Men Happy – Makes Humans Happy


10 Ways to Love

10 Ways to Love

Harvard University has just released findings from a 75-year longitudinal study on what men need to live a happy life.

 

{No comments from the peanut gallery here referring to the fact my young son is perfectly content watching the laundry whirl around through the glass window of the machine. This  is real. It’s been studied. They have results.}

 

This study reported on all aspects of male life, including relationships, politics and religion, coping strategies, alcohol use — even scrotum length, if you can believe it! — and discovered there is a powerful correlation between the warmth of your relationships and  health and happiness in later years.

 

Another finding is that recovery from a lousy childhood is possible, but memories of a happy childhood are a lifelong source of strength. According to a review of the study by Business Insider:

 

“Men who had ‘warm’ childhood relationships with their mothers took home $87,000 more per year than men whose mothers were uncaring.  Men who had poor childhood relationships with their mothers were much more likely to develop dementia when old.  Late in their professional lives, the men’s boyhood relationships with their mothers — but not their fathers — were associated with effectiveness at work.  

On the other hand, warm childhood relations with fathers correlated with lower rates of adult anxiety, greater enjoyment on vacations, and increased ‘life satisfaction’ at age 75 — whereas the warmth of childhood relationships with mothers had no significant bearing on life satisfaction at 75.”  

 

Another bit of statistical input that parenting is rather significant in a culture where some consider it unworthy. This study finds that no matter where you live, how much money you have, etcetera, that happiness = love.

 

Which really puts the pressure on us as human beings to figure out how to love one another better, doesn’t it?! Here’s a list I’ve mentioned before, but is worth repeating (and here’s another list of 50 Simple Ways to Love Your Spouse):

 

10 Ways to Really Love Someone

 

1. Listen without Interrupting.

2. Speak without Accusing.

3. Give without Sparing.

4. Pray without Ceasing.

5. Answer without Arguing.

6. Share without Pretending.

7. Enjoy without Complaint.

8. Trust without Wavering.

9. Forgive without Punishing.

10. Promise without Forgetting.

 

That’s a robust list of items for completion, and perhaps someday I’ll break them down one by one and write on them, but in the meantime at least they’re food for thought!

 

On the down side of this study, there was one trait found to negatively influence lifetime success, in every case:

 

“… the most significant finding of all is that “Alcoholism is a disorder of great destructive power.” In fact, alcoholism is the single strongest cause of divorce between the Grant Study men and their wives. Alcoholism was also found to be strongly coupled with neurosis and depression (which most often follows alcohol abuse, rather than preceding it). Together with cigarette smoking, alcoholism proves to be the #1 greatest cause of morbidity and death. And above a certain level, intelligence doesn’t prevent the damage.”

 

Big take away? Maybe those prohibition people knew what they were talking about! Lay off the bottle!

I DON’T Look Down On Women with a Husband and Kids and I’m Not Sorry


What does feminism resemble?

What does feminism resemble?

Earlier this evening I read a blog post titled, “I Look Down on Women With Husbands and Kids and I’m not Sorry.” My first impression involved an assumption that the blogger was using a play on words to create a scandalous headline for more hits.

 

Boy, was I wrong.

 

Let me throw out a few of the statements I found remarkably bold:

 

“Every time I hear someone say that feminism is about validating every choice a woman makes I have to fight back vomit. Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself?”

“You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.”

“I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments.”

“Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business.”

 

My initial response was to shoot off some crazy, hot-headed comment about how ridiculous her perspective is and that it’s incredibly insulting to the entire gender from the perspective that I’ve lived as a full-time professional and I’ve lived as a full-time wife and mother. I’m able to address both perspectives from first-hand experience.

 

Right now I land somewhere on the fence between both working full-time from home and home schooling our children and I can testify… beyond a shadow of a doubt… that parenting is actually hard work! (Can I get an Amen?!)

 

Being a Mommy is harder than my hardest day in a professional career that included periods of manual labor, emotional turmoil, conflict management, and long range visioning. I believed my professional decisions had the potential to change the world, but now my parenting decisions literally change the world of these four children who occupy my life.

 

It’s a shame to run across a person who doesn’t see the value in freedom of choice. Freedom of choice, liberty of action, these are things we’re willing to die for when it comes down to it. The American Revolution was largely about the desire for people on the North American soil having the privilege to make decisions for themselves. (Freedom of choice.) Feminism? Largely about the ability for women to have a chance at equal footing in a world immune to disparities. (Liberty of action.) These are two simple examples from a list that could be as long as Rapunzel’s hair.

 

Yet when I think about my insane desire for freedom, I have to also acknowledge this blogger’s freedom to have a firmly held opinion, no matter how offensive I find it myself. (I’d also like to state for the record no one has ever come up with a professional sense of accomplishment quite as rewarding as the first time your toddler tinkles in the toilet. Just sayin’.)

 

 

I support her freedom to choose a philosophy I find insulting. And I support my choice to disagree vehemently.

 

While Ms. Glass is  spewing venom toward gals who follow the traditional path and invest in a world that is perhaps outlined by four walls and a laundry room (and possibly tiny toes and fingers), I’ll be over here investing in something I’ve intentionally chosen because I believe it has an eternal significance.

 

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll still be able to find the time to be exceptional.

 

No promises.

 

I’ve blogged about this Mommy War before. If you’re interested in more of my opinions on which lifestyle is harder, check out Working Mom vs. Stay-at-Home Mom and  More Thoughts about Working Mom vs. Stay at Home Mom.

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