A Fusterating Day

You know that little phrase, “Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug”? Well, today I was the bug.

Splat.

Or I could say I was frustrated with the day but pronouncing the word like Dos. For her it’s “fusterated” and that’s exactly how I feel!

The day started lovely, but I was up and going before I’d had time to grab a cup of coffee (because I overslept. Truth.) We opened the garage sale and put out the signs.

Because we garage sale every Thursday, Friday and Saturday these days. This is the mother of all yard sales. We carry everything from an oxygen machine to pots & pans, pullout sofas to Christmas ornaments. You want it, chances are we’ve got or have seen it.

At some point I looked around at all the stuff, all the dirtiness of it, began to hyperventilate and had to go inside the house to wash my hands with Clorox.

I stayed inside for awhile tidying the house, then saw the bananas on the counter were turning brown.

I have bad luck with frozen bananas – very bad luck! – but a fresh, brownish banana is a banana I want to turn into a muffin, pronto. So I made banana muffins.

Terribly exciting day, I know. I bet you’re on the edge of your seat just wondering what thrills and shocks are up next.

It may not seem too shocking to you, but the next development took me aback.

I started in on the homemade salsa, which was starting to NEED to be made because I bought the fresh ingredients Monday to make salsa, then promptly forgot. I put in the tomatoes, chiles, green onions and cilantro…

Oh, wait. I didn’t put the cilantro in after all.

BECAUSE IT WAS ITALIAN PARSLEY.

I don’t know that Italy and Mexico have ever had acrimonious relations but I can assure you Italian Parsley has no place in authentic, homemade Mexican salsa.

I shoved four stalks of parsley up my nose trying to make it smell like cilantro before I gave up and decided to just go to the store for more cilantro.

Gr… I took my Cloroxed hands and need for cilantro on over to the WalMart Supercenter.

I called my friend to confirm our dessert plans for the evening and promised her I would bring our banana muffins as a contribution to the Good of the Order.

Lizard called and told me how much he enjoyed eating all the muffins I’d left cooling on the counter.

I began to froth at the mouth as my head exploded. And then I came home, hoping my ire would be gone.

At some point in the afternoon a set of middle-aged sisters appeared at the yard sale. We chatted for a bit and I found out she had staked out a good blackberry picking spot, similar to ours.

We exchanged blackberry recipe ideas. It was a nice time of female bonding.

She left. For some ungodly reason I decided I needed to make a blackberry pound cake to replace my happily-consumed banana muffins.

Time was short so I raced through the pound cake recipe as quickly as I could. It looked GORGEOUS! So excited, and the first time I’d ever used my own Bundt cake pan. Hurray!

(Remember, it’s the little things in life that keep you happiest!)

Hurry, hurry, hurry, cake in the oven to bake, over to the sink to clean the dishes. Ta-da!

I took a big swipe off the pound cake mixing spoon… and quickly discovered I had accidentally put salt into the recipe in place of sugar. Two cups of salt, to be exact.

Not my best move.

I left the cake in the oven and started to have a hissy fit while smelling my cooking blackberries. Sad, sad times.

I gave up on bringing a dessert fo my friend’s house, and that was that.

Except, after having a wonderful time with our friends, I came home to discover I never zipped my pants up. Which is part of the traditionally recognized ways to garb yourself.

The End.

What do you do when all your plans go awry??