Nutrageous

I read once consuming sugar has no effect on a child’s behavior.

To that statement I would like to loudly holler, “Fib! Fib! Fib!” while dancing through my home like a drunken leprechaun.

After all, I’m only mimicking the behavior of my children four-and-a-half minutes after consuming chocolate or any substance containing Red No. 40. (I’m looking at you, Trix yogurt.)

We eat in a vaguely healthy manner around our house. Lots of fresh fruits and vegetables (including broccoli! Ew!) make their way onto our plates alongside Kraft macaroni and cheese and Tyson chicken nuggets.

I would prefer to have all non-processed foods, all the time. But the desire for something fast and microwavable wins out over love and logic, and, let’s face it, sometimes Ruffles potato chips are like manna from heaven.

There is no real explanation for the crazy behavior of the kiddos after eating certain desserts except said desserts were manufactured by Satan (or possibly a lesser demon. Satan is probably busy manufacturing the hard plastic shrink wrap for packaging and pushing the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists to recommend Pap Smears every three weeks.).

All I know is treats are consumed by my children when they appear to have an express desire to “do Mama in” while laughing maniacally and hanging upside down from the end of the bunk bed.

That being said, how’s your night?! Dawn wins the gold star for yesterday’s joke. It made me laugh! You, too can still win a gold star: just submit your favorite joke in the comments!