TP

“They said, ‘Why don’t you go in the NFL and play football?’ In the ’60s, the late ’60s, the going price was $60,000. You make the team? 60 grand. I thought, ‘And I miss duck season? And I have large, violent… men chasing me trying to stomp me in the dirt?’ It just seemed like a lot of stress and not a lot of money.” Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty

Like the majority of Americans I watched the Super Bowl tonight. It was lovely, though I wan’t rooting for one team over the other. Now, if the Broncos were involved I can bet my hair would be orange and my face blue on my husband’s request, but tonight I was a dispassionate observer.

I like football, but I don’t understand so much of it. Ridiculous amounts of violence and gratuitous spandex saturate the sport. Add some skimpy cheerleading outfits and I don’t get really excited unless, say, someone runs a touchdown in from a kick off.

But that never happens, right? Oh, wait. Maybe it does. Doh. You know they feel stupid for that one!

I invited my family to my parent’s house and asked them to have a Super Bowl gathering for us because they typically have good food and a house large enough for the kids to play and it doesn’t sound like you’re talking over a whiny turbine motor. They said yes.

At some point during the game I visited the restroom and gazed for awhile at the full roll of toilet paper beside me.

A full roll of toilet paper has the emotional impact on me of a security blanket. When I see there’s plenty of toilet paper around I can expect that – no matter what else has gone wrong during the day – I’m going to be ok. There’s toilet paper. I won’t be trapped in a restroom at any point and that’s a win for mankind in general.

Do you have any little comfort triggers? What things do you see that make you feel quite satisfied and pleased?