Random yet Practical

I struggled today because I want to give you both the random and the practical.  I can’t decide which to do and my brain is on overload because I’ve trained in the educational model we’ll be using for school for the girls next year for two days.

So, I’m going to just give you two snippets so I don’t have to overuse my brain and make a decision of absolutely no consequence.

First, Three Ways You Know It’s Time to Wean the Lard Baby:

1.  Someone asks you if you know if you’re having a boy or girl and you have to tell them you’re not pregnant, it’s just the lard baby.

2.  When you turn sideways and view your profile your lower midsection protrudes farther than your upper midsection.  Breast augmentation or abdominal diminution are your only options.

3.  There’s a constant, thin, horizontal line of dampness running across all your tops from where your shirt gets caught in the flesh canyon between rib cage and tummy.

Second, because we’ve gone almost half a year since celebrating the love of love with the most worthless holiday, Valentine’s Day, here are 10 Practical Ways to Show Love (I am not the author, I just provide the commentary!):

1. Listen without interrupting. (Proverbs 18) This is very important in our household because our ruffians interrupt constantly.  I’ve gotten to a point where I can’t finish sentences or thoughts.  When Lizard takes me to a quiet place and waits patiently for my words to come out, I fall in love with him all over again!
2. Speak without accusing. (James 1:19)  Conflict happens but Lizard always reminds me, he’s not the enemy.  We’re not battling against each other, we’re comrades battling to stay together – accusations are not helpful to quality communication.
3. Give without sparing. (Proverbs 21:26)  True love is sacrificial.  It’s fairly easy to get sacrificial love when you have a child, much more difficult for most people to give sacrificially to their spouse (the spouse is more independent).  Remember, anything worth having is worth working for… sacrifice can bless both of you!
4. Pray without ceasing. (Colossians 1:9)  I catch myself singing songs as a prayer all the time.  But one thing I am training myself to do when I am on the brink of behaving poorly (like, oh, screaming at my children until I burst blood vessels in my eyes and bit my tongue in half) is to literally stop and send up a prayer for wisdom, strength and maturity.  It’s working!
5. Answer without arguing. (Proverbs 17:1) Tone of voice can make all the difference in “discussions.”  Learning to answer evenly without throwing fuel to the fire of discord can create a space in the relationship for trust to build instead of defensiveness.
6. Share without pretending. (Ephesians 4:15)  As scary as it is, just be you.  Authenticity goes much, much farther than image.
7. Enjoy without complaint. (Philippians 2:14)  We talk to our girls a lot about using words that are like honey instead of vinegar.  Learning to enjoy the positive in each moment is a life skill and will ultimately make you much more likable.
8. Trust without wavering. (Corinthians 13:7)  No one deserves to be trusted.  Period.  We’ve all lied, some of us with huge lies and some with little but everyone has been untrustworthy in their lifetime.  Even so, it’s far better to extend trust with the knowledge you may be betrayed than to withhold trust and never feel the freedom of love fulfilled.
9. Forgive without punishing. (Colossians 3:13)  Oh, this is a hard one!  Vindictiveness is so very human and so easy to instill in your relationship.  Forgiveness doesn’t include shackles… it’s a key to freedom.  Work to love your partner into the person they have potential to become!
10. Promise without forgetting. (Proverbs 13:12)  I have six million thoughts in my head at any given time and I am so poor at remembering!  That means I need to implement some changes in my life right now so that when I make a promise, I follow through.  This will be a conscious decision that won’t be easy… but the benefits will be worth it.  I want to be a person of my word!