No Cherry On Top!

It is wrong cherry Red Vines taste like cough syrup.

I found the unopened box of Red Vines on top of the refrigerator, the place I hide candy in our house because usually the kiddos can’t see it and then hound me for it until I curl into a ball, whisper, “Mama!” and cry “Uncle.”

The pure excitement I felt when I uncovered this package… well, I haven’t felt that way in quite awhile. I realized it was the box I bought when Red Vines went on sale for 30¢ at the grocery store and I’d never had cherry flavor before. But I love Red Vines, how could they go wrong?

Let me tell you. That box was not worth the 30¢ I paid. It would be well worth it if ai had a cough syrup fetish, but since Luden’s Cherry Cough Drops don’t particularly float my boat, I’m left with a box of cherry Red Vines, a sour taste in my mouth, and unrealized hopes and dreams.

This is the stuff of which tragedy is made.

I may have to stick to Butterfingers and the occasional brownie after this. It will be hard to look at any Red Vine with the same desire in my heart after this.

What’s your favorite type of licorice? Red Vines? Twizzlers? Strawberry, Cherry, Black?